Author: Alfred E. Neuman Page 4

The dollar will never fall as low as what some people will do to get it.

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Money

An argument is two people trying to get in the last word first.

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Communication Conversation Speech

If you want to be on the upper crust, you need to have a lot of dough.

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Money

Teenagers are people who act like babies if they're not treated like adults!

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People

Too often, people who want to offer sound advice give more sound than advice!

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Communication Intelligence Speech

How come we choose from just two people for president, and fifty for Miss America?

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Government

Most bosses never lift a finger at work, unless it’s to point out something you did wrong.

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Mistakes Work

Today, it takes more brains and effort to make out the income-tax form than it does to make the income.

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Government Money Taxes

The reason most people talk to themselves is because they’re often the only ones who will listen.

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Communication Speech

The world is a place that’s gone from being flat to round to crooked.

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Crime Honesty Places World

The only advantage to living in the past is that the rents are much cheaper!

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Money Past Time

Crime does not pay… as well as politics.

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Conflict Crime Government Politics

Plenty of people believe in energy conservation – mainly their own.

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Science/Weather

Nowadays, an after-dinner mint is what you need to pay the restaurant check.

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Food/Drink Money

Money still talks these days… trouble is, you have to increase the volume alot!

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Death Money Time

Starting a war in the name of peace is like poking a hole in a balloon to get more air into it.

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Conflict War

All lawyers are cut from the same cloth: fleece.

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Crime Government Law Lawyers

Anyone who says the truth shall set you free has never been to traffic court.

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Characteristics Truth

Most wives are like ventriloquists: they stand there nodding while the dummy does all the talking.

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Communication Marriage Speech Wives

A teacher is someone who talks in our sleep!

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Education Occupations Sleep

If most people said what’s on their minds, they’d be speechless.

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Communication Intelligence Mind Speech