Author: Ambrose Bierce Page 3

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers; what I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Alcohol Food/Drink Government Politicians

Critic: One who boasts of being “hard to please” because nobody tries to please him. 

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Occupations Work

Mercy: An attribute beloved of detected offenders.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language

Photograph: A picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Art Definitions Things

Accountability: The mother of caution.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions

Delegation: In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Government Language

Evangelist: A bearer of good tidings who gives us the good news and assures us of our own salvation and damnation of our neighbors.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions Religion

Clairvoyant: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron, namely, that he is a blockhead.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Reporter: A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Occupations People Truth

Quotation: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Speech

Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.)

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Intelligence Language Self

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Emotions Happiness Women

To be positive: To be mistaken at the top of one's voice.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Speech

Neighbor: One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions People

Pain: An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions Intelligence Mind

Opportunity: A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions

Death is not the end; there remains the litigation over the estate.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Death

Truce: Friendship.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Conflict Definitions Relationships

Acquaintance: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Individuals Language Money

Fidelity : A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions Marriage

Man: An animal [whose]… chief occupation is the extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions People Women