Keyword: Speed

The race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong – but that’s the way to bet.

The speed of time is one second per second.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Computing power increases as the square of the cost; if you want to do it twice as cheaply, you have to do it four times slower.

Slow as an iron toad

Remember folks, stop lights timed for 35 mph are also timed for 70 mph.

(1948 – 1990) comedian

Slow as Christmas

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

Bus: A vehicle that runs faster when you run after it and runs slowly when you are inside it.

Going fast while you are lost won't help a bit.

Maybe I’m lucky to be going so slowly, because I may be going in the wrong direction.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist

The speed of an oncoming vehicle is directly proportional to the length of the passing zone.

Every car has a lot of speed in it. The trick is getting the speed out of it.

American auto racer

The speed of exit of a civil servant is directly proportional to the quality of his service.

Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

Maybe I have lost a step, but I had a few to lose.

professional football player

OK, so what’s the speed of dark?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks grey?

(1973 – ) American comedian

I normally run the 40-yard dash in 4.9, but when a 280-pound guy is chasing me, I run it in 4.6.

American football player

When you are over the hill, you pick up speed.

Faster than a scalded dog

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