Keyword: Speed

I normally run the 40-yard dash in 4.9, but when a 280-pound guy is chasing me, I run it in 4.6.

American football player

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks grey?

(1973 – ) American comedian

I play the harmonica, but only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Going fast while you are lost won't help a bit.

The speed of time is one second per second.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

OK, so what’s the speed of dark?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist

Computing power increases as the square of the cost; if you want to do it twice as cheaply, you have to do it four times slower.

The speed of an oncoming vehicle is directly proportional to the length of the passing zone.

You’ve never been lost until you’ve been lost at Mach 3.


The speed of exit of a civil servant is directly proportional to the quality of his service.

If you change lines, the one you just left will start to move faster than the one you are now in.

The vehicle in front of you is traveling slower than you are.

Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

Bus: A vehicle that runs faster when you run after it and runs slowly when you are inside it.

At 180 mph, when your front wheel wants to play pogo stick, you don't do nothing. You don't sneeze, you don't hiccup, you don't even breathe. All you do is point it and hang on.

American motorcycle racer

Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

One of the greatest unsolved riddles of restaurant eating is that the customer usually gets faster service when the restaurant is crowded than when it is half empty; it seems that the less the staff has to do, the slower they do it.













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