Subject: Activities (Page 9)

When I was in high school, a “drive-by shooting” meant someone had their rear end hanging out a car window!

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Activities Age Young

I have to work out like a tri-athlete just to maintain chubby.

comedian
Appearance Body Exercise Fat

Cardiology: The study of poker playing.

Activities Definitions

Hook: Irritating but highly reliable device used to quickly locate the position of one’s thumb at the bottom of a tackle box.

Activities Definitions

At the gym; I’ve given up trying to get in really good shape, and re-committed myself to not getting any worse.

American comedian & actor
Activities

Whenever two fishing lines are contiguous, they will become continuous.

Activities Murphy’s Laws

I bought a new pair of pajamas with pockets, which is great, cause now i don’t have to hold things when I sleep.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Clothing Situations Sleep Things

Bridge is the only game that bruises more shins than hockey.

Activities Games

Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead.

(1959 – ) Australian writer & television producer
Activities Sleep

I’ve decided to sell my Hoover… well, it was just collecting dust.

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
Activities Housework

Last night I fell asleep in a satellite dish… my dreams were broadcast all over the world.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Situations Sleep World

I yield to no one in my admiration for the office as a social center, but it’s no place actually to get any work done.

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
Activities Work

Excuse the mess but we live here.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Activities Housework

I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle… it wasn’t mine.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Activities Dance Entertainment

I saw a guy juggling chain saws, it was cool, unless something needed to be sawed down, then it's annoying.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Activities

She is going to join the gym to lose some weights.

Activities Exercise Misspokements

To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Activities Age Exercise Young

Fishing: A delusion entirely surrounded by liars in old clothes.

Activities Definitions

I am pushing sixty… that is enough exercise for me.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Activities Age Exercise

It’s easier to find a traveling companion than to get rid of one.

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist
Activities People Travel

I like to skate on the other side of the ice.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Activities