Subject: Age » Old (Page 12)

What's the advantage of having a kid at 49?… you can both be in diapers at the same time?

stand-up comedian
Age Children Old

Old age is like everything else; to make a success of it, you’ve got to start young.

(1899 – 1987) American dancer, choreographer, singer, musician & actor
Age Old

I’m a controversial figure: my friends either dislike me or hate me.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Friends Old People Self

I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Body Old

To what do I attribute my longevity? … bad luck.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
Age Old

I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Old

The older one grows, the more one likes indecency.

(1882 – 1941) English novelist, essayist, publisher & feminist
Age Old

Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Age Men Old People Young

As I understand President Bush's Medicare plan, it provides for unlimited coverage for anyone over 72 whose parents can pass the physical.

(1932 – ) American political satirist & comedian
Age Government Health Old

When you are younger you get blamed for crimes you never committed and when you're older you begin to get credit for virtues you never possessed… it evens itself out.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Age Old Young

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Health Old Science/Weather

When you’re in your 20s and 30s and you drop some weight, people notice, they’re nice about it… they’re like, ‘Hey man, you look good!' … but when you’re in your 40s and you lose weight, people are like, ‘You doin’ all right?'

(1963 – ) American comedian & author
Age Old

Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend’s success.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Friends Old People Problems Success

You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See if you can blow this out.”

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Age Old

She is so old… she used to baby-sit Jesus.

Age Exaggerations Old

You might be a redneck if… an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Age Old People Television

You know how your friends are all morons, and they got the stories wrong all the time?… it’s the same here with the Bible.

(1960 – ) American stand-up comedian & writer
Friends Intelligence Old People

For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Age Law Old Sex

True friends stab you in the front.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Conflict Friends Old People

I don’t plan to grow old gracefully; I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Age Appearance Body Old

It’s good to be here… but at 98, it’s good to be anywhere.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Life Old