Subject: Age » Old (Page 13)

When you become senile, you won't know it.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Age Health Memory Old

They told me my services were no longer desired because they wanted to put in a youth program as an advance way of keeping the club going; I'll never make the mistake of being seventy again.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Age Old Young

I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Old Young

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Age Men Old People Sex Women

My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty, and that’s the law.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Age Family Old Parents Places

I'd like to grow very old as slowly as possible.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist
Age Old

When you are younger you get blamed for crimes you never committed and when you're older you begin to get credit for virtues you never possessed… it evens itself out.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Age Old Young

If you help a friend in need, he is sure to remember you… the next time he’s in need.

Friends Murphy’s Laws Old People

He has become the oldest living cute boy in the world.

(1953 – ) American author, journalist & opinion columnist
Age Appearance Insults Old

Have you ever tried to put an oyster in a slot machine?

(1922 – ) actor, film director, producer, writer & comedian
Age Old Sex

I used to dread getting older because I thought I would not be able to do all the things I wanted to do, but now that I am older I find that I don't want to do them.

(1879 – 1964) British politician
Activities Age Old

I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Body Old

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Characteristics Friends Old People Women

Now that I am sixty, I see why the idea of elder wisdom has passed from currency.

(1932 – 2009) author, poet & critic
Age Intelligence Old Wisdom

Did you ever look in a mirror and wonder how your pantyhose got so wrinkled… and then remember you weren’t wearing any?

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Appearance Old

Girls used to come up to me and say, “My sister loves you.” Now they say, “My mother loves you.”

baseball player
Age Baseball Old Sports

Growing old’s like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven't committed.

(1905 – 2000) English writer
Age Old

To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.

(1870 – 1965) businessman & politician
Age Old

He may be the only kicker to kick and collect Social Security at the same time.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Age Football Old Sports

They tell you that you’ll lose your mind when you grow older; what they don’t tell you is that you won’t miss it much.


Age Intelligence Mind Old

He's so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Age Food/Drink Money Old