Subject: Age » Old (Page 7)

You know you are getting older when “Happy Hour” is a nap.

Activities Age Old Sleep

The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Age Entertainment Music Old People

Good hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even when you wish they were.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Characteristics Friends Old People

To an old man any place that’s warm is homeland.

(1868 – 1936) Russian writer & political activist
Age Old

That man so old… he’s older than his birthday.

(1894 – 1975) American comedian
Age Old

Larry King is so old, he's actually one of the Jews that killed Christ.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Age Old People

The thing about getting old is the number of things you think that you can’t say aloud because it would be too shocking.

(1919 – 2013) British writer, poet & playwright
Age Old Speech

Age: The time when everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.

Age Definitions Old

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year, and I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Age Old Young

The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Age Fools Intelligence Old Young

I’m like old wine; they don't bring me out very often, but I’m well preserved.

(1890 – 1995) American philanthropist & wife of Joseph P. Kennedy, Sr.
Age Old

Jewelry takes people's minds off your wrinkles.

(1912 – 1969) Norwegian figure skater & actress
Age Appearance Old Things

I now consider it a good day when I don’t step on my boobs.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Appearance Body Old

You know you're getting old when kids start to dress like you used to.

(1936 – 2014) American standup comedian, actor & author
Age Appearance Clothing Old

I’ll never make the mistake of being 70 again.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Age Baseball Old Sports

I told my doctor I wanna stop aging, he gave me a gun!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Age Doctors Health Old Things

I'm in a restaurant one time, we go to the men's room – my grandfather was standing by the condom machine going, 'Hey, this gum has got no flavor.'

American comedian & actor
Age Old

My wife and I are discussing whether we’re going to spank our child or not; I say wait ’til she does something wrong.

American comedian
Children Family Old

She's all done up like a well-kept grave.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Age Appearance Insults Old

When you feel that you would like to go back to your youth, think of algebra.

Age Old Young

We grow too soon old and too late smart.

Age Old Proverbs Wisdom