Subject: Age (Page 16)

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.

The older one grows, the more one likes indecency.

(1882 – 1941) English novelist, essayist, publisher & feminist

If something’s old and you’re trying to sell it, it’s obsolete; if you’re trying to buy it, it’s a collector’s item.

As you grow older, you stand for more and fall for less.

You know you're getting old when kids start to dress like you used to.

(1936 – 2014) American standup comedian, actor & author

At twenty, we don’t care what the world thinks of us; at thirty, we worry about what it’s thinking of us; at forty, we discover it isn’t thinking about us at all.

When men reach their sixties and retire they go to pieces; women just go on cooking.


After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.

(1945 – ) singer, actress & comedian

My boyfriend and I are both in our late 20s; he’s 29, I’m 34.

(1980 – ) Australian comedian

Puberty: The awkward age when a child is too old to say something cute and too young to say something sensible.

When I was young I used to think that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old, I know it is.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

We thought it was a bad idea you guys got married, but we didn’t feel like we could say anything because it was open bar.

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian

After forty a woman has to choose between losing her figure or her face; my advice is to keep your face, and stay sitting down.

(1901 – 2000) English author

Learning to dislike children at an early age saves a lot of expense and aggravation later in life.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator

Parents often talk about the younger generation as if they didn’t have anything to do with it.

(1922 – 1973) Israeli teacher & child psychologist

Younger and younger, our children are seeing the sippy-cup as half empty.

(1970 – ) American stand-up comedian & voice actor

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snowblower or vacuum cleaner.

There are five stages in the life of an actor: Who’s Mary Astor? … Get me Mary Astor… Get me a Mary Astor type… Get me a young Mary Astor… Who’s Mary Astor?

(1906 – 1987) American actress

I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor