Subject: Age (Page 18)

Nothing makes a smoker happier than to see an old person smoking.

(1961 – 1994) comedian
Activities Age Happiness Health Old

My mother used to say: the older you get, the better you get… unless you’re a banana.

1922) American actress, comedian & television personality
Age Old TV/Movie Quotes

The comfort of turning 49 is the realization that you are now too old to die young.

Age Death Murphy’s Laws Old

Say Satch, tell me, was Abraham Lincoln a crouch hitter?

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Age Baseball Old Sports

Good hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even when you wish they were.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Characteristics Friends Old People

When you’re in your 20s and 30s and you drop some weight, people notice, they’re nice about it… they’re like, ‘Hey man, you look good!' … but when you’re in your 40s and you lose weight, people are like, ‘You doin’ all right?'

(1963 – ) American comedian & author
Age Old

Middle-age is the time of life, that a man first notices – in his wife.

(1906 – 1989) American poet & author
Age Marriage Wives

Even when I was a kid, my imaginary friend would play with the kid across the street.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Age Friends People Self

You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor's age by the rings on her fingers.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Divorce Insults Marriage

I am in the prime of senility.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Age Memory Mind Old

Old age is like learning a new profession; and not one of your own choosing.

(1907 – ) French-born American historian of ideas & culture
Age Old

I like a man who's good, but not too good; for the good die young, and I hate a dead one.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Age Characteristics

They told me my services were no longer desired because they wanted to put in a youth program as an advance way of keeping the club going; I'll never make the mistake of being seventy again.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Age Old Young

When I was a kid, I had two friends, and they were imaginary and they would only play with each other.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Age Friends People Young

You know, you get that tattoo of barbed wire when you’re 18, but by the time you’re 80, it’s a picket fence.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Age Appearance Body Old Young

He was young – He was fair – But the Injuns – Raised his hair

Conflict Epitaphs Hair Young

I’m from Chicago, but I pay child support in Seattle; I’m just kidding – I don’t pay child support.

(1975 – ) American comedian, actor & writer
Age Children Family Marriage Places

Even the youngest of us may be wrong sometimes.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Age Problems Young

Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking in a week or two he will feel as good as ever.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Age Health

To an old man any place that’s warm is homeland.

(1868 – 1936) Russian writer & political activist
Age Old

Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Age Old Sex