Subject: Appearance » Body (Page 14)

The worst thing about having a weak chin is it takes me about three to four hours to change a pillow case.

comedian

You may admire a girl's curves on the first introduction, but the second meeting shows up new angles.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

The only parts left of my original body are my elbows.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

Eunuch: A man who has had his works cut out for him.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out; but I can usually shut her up with cookies.

singer & musician

If you can’t tell the difference between a spoon and a ladle, then you’re fat.

(1973 – ) American comedian

A bleeding heart can be hell on the carpeting.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author

You can't even jump high enough to touch the rim, unless they put a Big Mac on it.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

I used to look like this when I was young and now I still do.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager

She is so fat… when you tell her to haul ass, she gotta make two trips.

I’d like to grow old with my face still moving.


Eddie: In this body there is a thin person dying to get out.

Gran: Just the one dear?

(1925 – ) English actress

You might be a redneck if… the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

On the other hand… you have different fingers.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

He is so fat… in the summer he can sell shade.

I'm so sick of these men who just talk about themselves… I'm looking for a well-hung mime.

(1964 – ) Canadian stand-up comedian, actress & television host

I’d like to borrow [Cassius] Clay’s body for 48 hours. There are three guys I’d like to beat up and four women I’d like to make love to.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don’t stare at it. It’s too risky. Ya get a sense of it and then you look away.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor

Honey, beside me, you look like Tony Randall!

(1933 – 1967) American actress, entertainer & Hollywood sex symbol

You know your girlfriend is getting fat when she can fit into your wife's clothes.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian