Subject: Appearance » Body (Page 14)

A homely face and no figure have aided many women heavenward.

(1861 – 1950) American writer
Appearance Body People Women

Damn your nose, madam… there’s no end to it!

(1727 – 1788) English painter
Appearance Body Insults

He looked like something that had gotten loose from Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

(1888 – 1964) comedian & actor
Appearance Body Insults

My body has no sexual meaning anymore, so if I can make people laugh with it, at least it's being used.

Louis Szekely (1967 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & director
Acting Appearance Body Entertainment

There's a new slimming course just out where they remove all your bones; not only do you weigh less, but you also look so much more relaxed.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Appearance Body Fat

That's like the Queen Mary losing a deck chair.

(1928 – 2001) American basketball coach
Appearance Body Fat

He is so fat… he has group insurance.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Be true to your teeth and they won't be false to you.

(1926 – 2009) comedian, actor, radio – TV personality & host
Appearance Body Characteristics

I’m pale and I’m redheaded. I don’t tan… I stroke.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Appearance Body

My school colors were clear; we used to say, “I’m not naked, I’m in the band.”

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body Clothing

He is so fat… I had to take a train and two buses just to get on his good side.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

You might be a redneck if… the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Body Marriage People Rednecks Wives

You always know when he's ready for sex, ’cause naked, he looked like one of them butterball turkeys with the little pop-up timer.

Lisa Lampanelli (1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body Fat People Sex

There is a breed of fashion models who weigh no more than an abridged dictionary.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Appearance Body

Ah yes, she's a fine figure of a woman, isn't she? … a handsome lass if there ever was one – and exceptionally well-preserved too.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Appearance Body

If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Appearance Body Fat

I was getting dressed and a peeping Tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Appearance Body Old

I reckoned if my boobs got any lower I would have to buy them their own pair of shoes.

(1959 – ) British novelist
Activities Appearance Body

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Appearance Body Fat People Women

Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and started growing in the middle.

Age Appearance Body People

Fat is lost last where it is wanted the least. Corollary 1: Fat is lost first from areas of high desirability.
Corollary 2: With time fat flows from areas of high to low desirability. – Hal Belknap, M.D.

Appearance Body Fat Murphy’s Laws