Subject: Appearance » Hair (Page 2)

I get all my hair products at PetCo.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic

… an old man who dresses like a Hooter’s waitress.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality

Frasier: Niles, I would shave my head for you.
Niles: A gesture which becomes less significant with each passing year.

(1959 – ) American actor

We can’t be lovers because we both have mustaches, but since you’re a lady, and I’m a gentleman, I’ll shave mine off.

(1982 – ) American author

People always ask me how long it takes to do my hair – I don’t know, I’m never there.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & actress

Reporter: What do you call that hairstyle you’re wearing?

Harrison Arthur.

(1943 – 2001) English musician, singer & songwriter

Toupée: Top secret.

All other things being equal, a bald man cannot be elected President of the United States.

She was so ugly that when I bent down to pet her cat it turned out to be the hair on her legs.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Wind velocity increases directly with the cost of the hairdo.

I once went out with this girl, she was no bargain either, she showed up with pigtails under her arms.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

(He’s) is wearing his hair differently this year, short and with curls like Randy Jones wears… I think you call it a Frisbee.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer

Rando: Nice wig, Janice. What’s it made of?
Janis: Your mom’s chest hair!

(1982 – ) American actress & model

Her hair lounges on her shoulders like an anesthetized cocker spaniel.

American journalist & critic

I get a lot of cracks about my hair, mostly from men who don't have any.

(1933 – 2006) politician

There are three acceptable haircuts: high and tight, crew cut, buzz cut.

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter

In the 1950's only seven percent of American women dyed their hair; today there are parts of Manhattan and Los Angeles where there are no gray-haired women at all.

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director

I knew I was going bald when it was taking longer and longer to wash my face.

(1964 – ) English comedian, author & television presenter

Women love a self-confident bald man.

(1947 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & television producer

With four sisters about the house, I could never get my hands on a comb.

American boxing champion

I don’t think cops should wear mirrored sunglasses; the whole time the guy was chewing me out, all I could think was “I should cut my bangs.”

Canadian-American comedian & writer