Subject: Appearance (Page 15)

How attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

Appearance Dating Murphy’s Laws People Relationships

Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Fat Insults

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Appearance Clothing

Naseem Hamed is naturally fit. I've seen more fat on a butcher's apron.

English boxing journalist & commentator
Appearance Body Boxing Sports

The life expectancy of a house plant varies inversely with its price and directly with its ugliness.

Appearance Murphy’s Laws Ugly

The robe is a lazy man's tuxedo.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Clothing

If I look confused it is because I am thinking.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Appearance Intelligence Misspokements Speech Thinking

I’ve put on some weight recently; my wife says it’s just puppy fat, but I’ve been eating other things as well.

comedian
Appearance Fat

That baby's cuter than a speckled pup in a red wagon.

Appearance Expressions

I’ve got a shirt for every day of the week… it’s blue.

American humorist & public speaker
Appearance Clothing

Probably the worst thing you can hear when you’re wearing a bikini is “Good for you!”


Appearance Body Clothing

If someone told him to haul ass he'd have to make six trips.

Appearance Body Expressions Fat

Some men climb mountains, others date ‘em!

(1944 – ) American actor, director & producer
Appearance Fat TV/Movie Quotes

Why does everything you wear look like it’s bearing a grudge, darling?

(1958 – ) English comedian, screenwriter & actress
Appearance Clothing TV/Movie Quotes

I hate thin people; “Oh, does the tampon make me look fat?”

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Fat

G String: Gownless evening strap.

Clothing Definitions

She resembles the Venus de Milo: she is very old, has no teeth, and has white spots on her yellow skin.

(1797 – 1856) German critic & poet
Appearance Insults

Never trust a man with short legs… his brain's too near his bottom.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Appearance Body Intelligence

My trademarks are a hoarse, grating voice and the face of a retired pugilist: small narrowed eyes set in puffy features which look as though they might, years ago, have lost on points.

(1911 – 1986) American actor
Appearance Body People Self

You might be a redneck if… you own a homemade fur coat.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Clothing People Rednecks

I'm so physically deficient that the act of sleep injures me.

(1978 – ) American comic writer
Appearance Body