Subject: Appearance (Page 16)

They should put expiration dates on clothing so we men will know when they go out of style.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Appearance Clothing Men People

Every time I breathe, they like, ‘Why you breathing so hard?'…So I can live!


Appearance Fat Self

The meal is not over when I'm full – the meal is over when I hate myself.

Louis Szekely (1967 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & director
Appearance Body Eating Fat Food/Drink

If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, talks like a duck… it probably needs a little more time in the microwave.


Appearance

Making love to a woman is like buying real estate: location, location, location.

comedian, writer, actor & producer
Body Sex Women

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Appearance Body Fat People Women

My photographs don't do me justice… they just look like me.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance

Does a fat boy like cake.

Appearance Body Expressions Fat

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Body Mind People

This shirt is “dry-clean only”… which means it’s dirty.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Clothing

One out of every three Americans… weighs as much as the other two.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Fat

She looks like something that would eat its young.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Appearance Insults

He is so ugly… when he walks into the bank they turn off the cameras.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

Makeup: What it takes to look natural.

Appearance Definitions

Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Appearance Body

She is so fat… when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

His favorite exercise is climbing tall people.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Body Insults

You'll never find the answer to 'What's the right hat?'

(1941 – ) American singer
Appearance Clothing

Elizabeth Taylor looks like two small boys fighting underneath a thick blanket.

Richard Blackwell (1922 – 2008) fashion critic, journalist, & designer
Appearance Insults

My bottom is so big, it’s got its own gravitational field.

(1960 – ) British media personality
Appearance Body

The same dress is indecent ten years before its time; daring one year before its time; chic in its time; dowdy five years after its time; hideous twenty years after its time; amusing thirty years after its time; romantic one hundred years after its time; beautiful one hundred and fifty years after its time.

(1899 – 1975) English fashion designer & critic
Appearance Clothing