Subject: Appearance (Page 16)

There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.

(1900 – 1967) American film actor
Clothing Money Poverty

There are three acceptable haircuts: high and tight, crew cut, buzz cut.

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter
Appearance Hair TV/Movie Quotes

Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Clothing Intelligence Science/Weather Understanding

A skirt is no obstacle to extemporaneous sex, but it is physically impossible to make love to a girl while she is wearing trousers.

(1907 – 1982) American journalist, editor & author
Appearance Clothing Sex

The sloppier the rebel uniform, the more likely the overthrow of the existing government.

Appearance Clothing Conflict Murphy’s Laws

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Appearance Body

He is so fat… his high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Christians can have big tits, too.

(1921 – 2011) American film actress & sex symbol
Appearance Beliefs Body Religion

How attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

Appearance Dating Murphy’s Laws People Relationships

Very few blacks will take up golf until the requirement for plaid pants is dropped.

(1949 – ) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Clothing Golf Sports

I have little feet because nothing grows in the shade.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & actress
Appearance Body

Comparing Madonna with Marilyn Monroe is like comparing Raquel Welch with the back of a bus.

George Alan O'Dowd (1961 – ) British singer-songwriter
Appearance Body People

He looks like the hindquarters of bad luck.

Appearance Expressions

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Clothing Men People Women

He's so fat his bathtub has stretch marks.

(1941 – ) American basketball executive
Appearance Body Fat Insults

He is so fat… in the summer he can sell shade.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

I told my dentist I want a tooth to match the others; he gave me one with four cavities.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Health

She's not wearing enough clothes to flag a hand car.

Appearance Clothing Expressions

A little incompatibility is the spice of life, as long as he has income and she is pattable.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Appearance Body Money Situations Women

Had double chins all the way down to his stomach.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Appearance Body Fat Insults

You may admire a girl's curves on the first introduction, but the second meeting shows up new angles.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Appearance Body Girls Women