Subject: Appearance (Page 17)

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Appearance Clothing Science/Weather

You know, you get that tattoo of barbed wire when you’re 18, but by the time you’re 80, it’s a picket fence.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Age Appearance Body Old Young

Marty Noble: How come you’re wearing argyle socks?
Myers: I’m not. I got these at Woolworth’s.

professional baseball player
Appearance Clothing Misspokements

Elly has more curves than a goat-path.

(1908 – 2003) American actor & dancer
Appearance Body TV/Movie Quotes

Never trust a man who combs his hair straight from his left armpit.

(1884 – 1980) author & wit
Appearance Hair Insults

Makeup: What it takes to look natural.

Appearance Definitions

I had a girlfriend that was so fat she had her own postal code.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Fat Girlfriends People Women

I liked the choreography, but I didn't care for the costumes.

(1939 – ) American actor, dancer, singer, producer & choreographer
Appearance Basketball Body Clothing Sports

If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Appearance

I thought to myself, join the army… it’s free; so I figured while I’m here I’ll lose a few pounds… I’m going to walk out of here a Lean, Mean, Fightin’ Machine!

(1950 – 1994) Canadian actor & comedian
Appearance Fat TV/Movie Quotes

I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Fat

She was what we used to call a suicide blonde—dyed by her own hand.

(1915 – 2005) Canadian writer
Appearance Hair People Women

There has ceased to be a difference between my awake clothes and my asleep clothes.

(1979 – ) American actress, comedian & writer
Appearance Clothing

He is so fat… when he gets in an elevator, it has to go down.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Comparing Madonna with Marilyn Monroe is like comparing Raquel Welch with the back of a bus.

George Alan O'Dowd (1961 – ) British singer-songwriter
Appearance Body People

A woman's dress should be like a barbed-wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view.

(1934 – ) Italian actress
Appearance Clothing People Women

How attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

Appearance Dating Murphy’s Laws People Relationships

She is so fat… she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Appearance Body Ugly

He is so fat… he can't even jump to a conclusion.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

The best accessory a girl can have is her best friend.

(1981 – ) heiress, socialite, media personality & model
Appearance Friends Travel