Subject: Appearance (Page 8)

I have such poor vision I can date anybody.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Appearance Body Characteristics People

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Appearance Hair People

She is so fat… she broke the family tree.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

When I see a man of shallow understanding extravagantly clothed, I feel sorry – for the clothes.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Clothing Insults Intelligence

Everything you see, I owe to spaghetti.

(1934 – ) Italian actress
Appearance Body Food/Drink Self

She was a large woman who seemed not so much dressed as upholstered.

(1860 – 1937) Scottish author, dramatist (creator of Peter Pan)
Appearance Body Clothing Insults

Normally, I’m not turned on by big teeth, but on you they work.

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes

I washed my edible underwear and now they're gone.


Appearance Clothing

Dr. Frankenstein: You know, I’m a rather brilliant surgeon. Perhaps I can help you with that hump.

Igor: What hump?

(1934 – 1982) English writer, comedian & actor
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair; but a confident bald man… there's your diamond in the rough.

(1947 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & television producer
Appearance

My girlfriend was so fat her clothes were made by Omar the tent maker.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Fat Girlfriends

I said to my husband, ‘My boobs have gone, my stomach’s gone, say something nice about my legs;’ he said, ‘Blue goes with everything.’

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Appearance Old

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body

Claire: Your hair looks good, the curls work. Why don’t you get a perm?
Rose Morgan: I tried that once, I looked like Shirley Temple on crack.

(1942 – ) American singer-songwriter, actress, writer, film producer & director
Appearance Hair TV/Movie Quotes

I had a Jewish delivery; they knock you out with the first pain; they wake you up when the hairdresser shows.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Family

If I see something sagging, bagging, and dragging, I’m going to nip, tuck it, and suck it.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & actress
Appearance Body

Nancy Reagan fell down and broke her hair.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Appearance Hair

Wrinkles: Something other people have… you have character lines.

Appearance Body Definitions

Never darken my Dior again!

(1894 – 1989) Canadian actress
Appearance Clothing Situations

No matter how many alterations, cheap pants never fit.

Appearance Clothing Murphy’s Laws

He has so many fish hooks in his nose, he looks like a piece of bait.

(1952 – ) American sportscaster
Appearance Insults