Subject: Beliefs (Page 37)

If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of.

Facts Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

I do benefits for all religions – I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Beliefs Life Religion

Whenever you accept our views we shall be in full agreement with you.

(1915 – 1981) Israeli military leader & politician
Beliefs Opinion

I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Characteristics Honesty

Truth varies.

Characteristics Government Honesty Murphy’s Laws Politics Truth

I pledge allegiance to the Christian flag, and to the Savior, for whose Kingdom it stands, one Savior, crucified, risen, and coming again, with life and liberty for all who believe.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Beliefs Misspokements Religion

Book Of Ecclesiasticles

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Beliefs Malaprops

It only rains straight down… God doesn't do windows.


God

One could drive a schooner through any part of his argument and never scrape against a fact.

(1866 – 1940) academic, businessman & politician
Characteristics Facts Insults Truth

My way of joking is to tell the truth.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Beliefs Honesty Truth

I wanted to do a show about feminism… but my husband wouldn’t let me.


Beliefs

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake.

(1864 –1945) Anglo-Scottish socialite, author & wit
Characteristics Honesty Insults Lies People

Telling lies does not work in advertising.

(1909 – 1966) Polish poet, writer & aphorist
Characteristics Honesty Lies

One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Facts Situations

When everyone is against you, it means that you are absolutely wrong – or absolutely right.

(1863 – 1923) French playwright
Beliefs Conflict Opinion People

I took a test in Existentialism; I left all the answers blank and got 100.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs

A liberal is a conservative who has been arrested.

(1931 – ) American author & journalist
Beliefs Conflict Law People

There's one way to find out if a man is honest – ask him… if he says, “Yes,” you know he is a crook.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Characteristics Honesty People

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Characteristics Clothing Communication Lies Truth World

How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs Characteristics Clothing

A woman will lie about anything, just to stay in practice.

(1888 – 1959) detective novelist & screenwriter
Characteristics Honesty Lies People Women