Subject: Beliefs (Page 36)

God is not on the side of the big battalions, but on the side of those who shoot best.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Conflict God War

A liberal is a conservative who’s been arrested; a conservative is a liberal who's been mugged.

(1949 – ) American lawyer & writer
Beliefs

If Columbus had had an advisory committee he would probably still be at the dock.

(1908 – 1990) American statesman, jurist & attorney
Beliefs Opinion People

It’s easier to fool people than to convince them they’ve been fooled.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Honesty

Never let the facts stand in the way of a good answer.

(1937 – 2014) American co-host of radio show “Car Talk”
Beliefs Facts

Game shows are designed to make us feel better about the random, useless facts that are all we have left of our education.

(1962 – ) writer & journalist
Education Facts Science/Weather

If enough data is collected, anything may be proven by statistical methods.

Beliefs Facts Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

Never mess up an apology with an excuse.

Beliefs Proverbs

I know her in the biblical sense… and when I say that, I mean I don’t believe a word she says.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Beliefs Honesty

Religion – it’s given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Beliefs Religion

He that wishes to learn to pray, let him go to sea.

(1593 – 1633) Welsh-born poet, orator & Anglican priest
Beliefs Religion

There is one sure way of telling when politicians aren't telling the truth — their lips move.

(1946 – ) English actress
Characteristics Government Honesty Politicians Truth

Monastery: Consecration camp.

Definitions Religion

How can I believe in God when only last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs Body God Things

A short summary of every Jewish holiday: “They tried to kill us; we won; let’s eat!”

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Beliefs Religion

They always throw around this term 'the liberal elite,' and I kept thinking to myself about the Christian right; what's more elite than believing that only you will go to heaven?

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Beliefs Government Politics Religion

In the first place God made idiots; that was for practice; then he made school boards.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Education Fools God Insults Intelligence

Flattery is the sincerest form of lying.

Honesty Lies Murphy’s Laws

I always advise people never to give advice.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Beliefs Opinion

In the beginning, there was nothing. And God said, 'Let there be Light.' And there was still nothing, but you could see it a bit better.

Beliefs God Situations

Public opinion reigns in society because stupidity reigns amongst the stupid.

(1741 – 1794) French writer
Beliefs Stupidity