Subject: Characteristics (Page 13)

If I have an orgasm, I feel that I have to give six weeks of community service to various charities.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Activities Characteristics Sex

Liberty: Consists in giving everyone full right to mind everyone else’s business.

Beliefs Characteristics Definitions

Woman’s influence is powerful, especially when she wants something.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Characteristics Women

Gravity is a habit that is hard to shake off.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Characteristics

More than 150 heads of state attended the UN Summit, giving New Yorkers a chance to get in touch with prejudices they didn't even know they had.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Characteristics People

Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else?

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Characteristics People

A pat on the back, though only a few vertebrae removed from a kick in the pants, is miles ahead in results.

(1898 – 1971) American humorist
Characteristics Situations

I've upped my standards; now, up yours.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Characteristics

At any particular time, there are more horse's asses in the world than horses.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws People

If these walls could talk they’d be like ‘damn bitch, you’re back in bed again!?

(1978 – ) American stand-up comedian, actress & writer
Activities Characteristics

The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Characteristics Men People

There are two kinds of truth: there are real truths, and there are made up truths.

(1936 – ) American politician, Mayor of Washington, D.C.
Characteristics Honesty Lies Truth

To punish me for my contempt for authority, fate made me an authority myself.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Characteristics

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

(1906 – 1982) baseball player
Age Characteristics Old

In some situations I was difficult, in odd moments impossible, in rare moments loathsome, but at my best unapproachably great.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Characteristics People Self

Now the only thing I miss about sex is the cigarette afterward.

(1936 – ) novelist, essayist & columnist
Characteristics Sex

Men and nations will act rationally towards each other only after all other possibilities have been exhausted.

Characteristics Intelligence Murphy’s Laws People

I prefer rogues to imbeciles because they sometimes take a rest.

(1824 – 1895) French writer
Characteristics Fools Intelligence

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.

Characteristics

Getting talked about is one of the penalties for being pretty, while being above suspicion is about the only compensation for being homely.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics Communication Speech

Liars get caught by the tale.

Characteristics Honesty Lies Murphy’s Laws