Subject: Characteristics (Page 23)

You can get a lot more done with a kind word and a gun than with a kind word alone.

(1899 – 1947) American gangster
Arms Characteristics Things

Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Characteristics Husbands Marriage People

I’m not a politician and my other habits are good, also.

Charles Farrar Browne (1834 – 1867) humorist
Characteristics Government Politicians

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Characteristics Government Money Politics

When I was a child, what I wanted to be when I grew up was an invalid.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
Characteristics

Egotism: Doing the New York Times crossword puzzle with a pen.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions

Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance.

(1922 – 2007) American novelist
Characteristics People

It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Characteristics People

She not only expects the worst, but makes the worst of it when it happens.

(1895 – 1956) Armenian essayist, novelist, playwright, & scriptwriter
Characteristics Insults

Anyone can tell the truth, but only very few of us can make epigrams.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
Characteristics Communication Language Reading/Writing Truth

There is no substitute for good manners… except, perhaps, fast reflexes.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws

The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.

Characteristics God Life

The trouble with being punctual is that there's nobody there to appreciate it.

(1908 – 1993) American composer, lyricist & writer
Characteristics Time

An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer will tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be.

Characteristics People

He who hesitates is sometimes saved.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Characteristics

The first time Adam had a chance, he laid the blame on woman.

(1879 – 1964) British politician
Characteristics Women

Indecision may or may not be my problem.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & businessman
Characteristics Intelligence Problems

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws

To find a man’s true character, play golf with him.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Characteristics Golf Sports

Now the only thing I miss about sex is the cigarette afterward.

(1936 – ) novelist, essayist & columnist
Characteristics Sex

My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance; we’ll see about that.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Characteristics