Subject: Characteristics (Page 48)

A cynic is a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen lantern.


Beliefs Characteristics Honesty People

Are you so unobservant that you do not yet realize that sanity and happiness are an impossible combination?

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Emotions Happiness

My girlfriend thinks I’m very mature. She also thinks I’m incapable of being faithful. My wife, on the other hand…

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Characteristics Marriage Relationships

I don’t fear death, but I sure don’t like those three-footers for par.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Characteristics Fear Golf Sports

When it’s third and ten, you can take the milk drinkers and I’ll take the whiskey drinkers every time.

professional football player
Characteristics Football Sports

Humility is no substitute for a good personality.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Characteristics

Self-esteem: An erroneous appraisement.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions

Hypocrisy is the Vaseline of social intercourse.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws

Being powerful is like being a lady; if you have to tell people you are, you aren't.

(1925 – 2013) British prime minister & politician
Characteristics Communication

A woman is a highly developed, deeply intelligent, infinitely complicated being… and it needs to be carefully tricked into doing things.

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Characteristics People Women

What makes resisting temptation difficult for many people is they don't want to discourage it completely.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Characteristics People Situations

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

(1945 – 2010) American comedian & actor
Characteristics Honesty Intelligence

Trust everybody – but cut the cards.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
Characteristics Honesty

I've upped my standards; now, up yours.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Characteristics

There is more simplicity in the man who eats caviar on impulse than in the man who eats Grape Nuts on principle.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Characteristics Eating Food/Drink People

That politician is so crooked he can hide behind a corkscrew.

Characteristics Expressions Honesty

Self-respect: the secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics

I know the world isn’t fair, but why isn’t it ever unfair in my favor?

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Characteristics Life World

He’s so lazy he wouldn’t work in a pie factory.

Characteristics Expressions Work

You must first have a lot of patience to learn to have patience.

(1909 – 1966) Polish poet, writer & aphorist
Characteristics

Learn to be sincere, even if you have to fake it.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Characteristics Education