Subject: Communication » Language (Page 6)

My spelling is wobbly; it’s good spelling but it wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places.

fictional character from the book series by A. A. Milne

Whoever put the letter ‘b’ in the word ‘subtle’ deserves a pat on the back.

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Vagina?… that sounds like something you call in sick with.

American comedian & television host

I used to have a job as a pantomime horse, but quit while I was a head.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

I don't want to brag, but I do speak Pig Latin; I mean, I'm not fluent, but I'm sure if I ever went there, I could get by.

Canadian-American comedian & writer

You can say ‘Thanks,’ and you can say ‘Thanks a Million’ – but any number in between? … uhuh.

(1973 – ) American comedian

The two most beautiful words in the English language are “check enclosed.”

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Italian Without Words

You're an old-timer if you can remember when setting the world on fire was a figure of speech.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator

It is a cliché that most clichés are true, but then like most clichés, that cliché is untrue.

(1957 – ) English actor, writer, journalist, comedian & film director

From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator

Our language is funny – a fat chance and slim chance are the same thing.

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

Do people in Australia, call the rest of the world, "Up Over"?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

All phone calls are obscene.

American author

I went to my local library yesterday, and asked: “Have you got a book on handling rejection without killing?”

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

Philanthropist: A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

(1969 – ) comedian & actor

Congress: A body of men who meet to repeal laws.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist