Subject: Communication » Language (Page 6)

Arrivaducci, von boyage.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

If it’s sent by ship then it’s a cargo, if it’s sent by road then it’s a shipment.

(1936 – 2005) Irish comedian

German in the most extravagantly ugly language – it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747.

(1937 – 1996) English cartoonist, satirist, comedian & actor

In letters themes reports articles and stuff like that we use commas to keep strings apart.

Don't use a run-on sentence you got to punctuate it.

Status quo, you know, that is Latin for the mess we’re in.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor

Don't use no double negatives.

Abbreviation: An inordinately long word in light of its meaning.

‘Finger Puppet’ sounds OK as a noun.

(1973 – ) American comedian

Philanthropist: A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

Ways to Relieve Stress #10: Make up a language and ask people for directions.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

I, of course, don’t have an accent; this is just how things sound when they are pronounced properly.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor

You say ‘erbs, and we say Herbs… because there’s a f**king ‘H’ in it!

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor

Consolation: The knowledge that a better man is more unfortunate than yourself.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

His tongue was an unguided missile.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

Marriage: The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Studying literature at Harvard is like learning about women at the Mayo Clinic.

(1941) American writer & humorist

It was while making newspaper deliveries, trying to miss the bushes and hit the porch, that I first learned the importance of accuracy in journalism.

(1933 – ) American telejournalist

The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

Outdo: To make an enemy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist