Subject: Communication (Page 10)

Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Communication Conversation Husbands Marriage Wives

Why are they called apartments when they’re all stuck together?

(1946 – ) American comedian
Miscellaneous Wordplay

Sewing Circle: Where friendship hangs by a thread.

Definitions Friends Wordplay

Immature poets imitate, mature poets steal.

(1888 – 1965) British (US-born) critic, dramatist & poet
Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Post Office: U.S. Snail.

Communication Definitions

If you explain it so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, somebody will.

Communication Murphy’s Laws

You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Communication Intelligence Understanding

I don’t have any children but if I had a baby I would have to name it so I’d buy a “baby naming book” … or I would invite somebody over who had a cast on.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Books Children Family

I deserve respect for the things I did not do.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Misspokements Speech

You break into my house… my wife will shoot you, and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Arms Speech Things

Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

Appearance Body Language

Admiration: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language Self

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

(1969 – ) comedian & actor
Communication Language

Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

There is no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary.

(1923 – 1964) Irish poet, short story writer, novelist & playwright
Communication

Don't use a run-on sentence you got to punctuate it.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to rouse the interest, but long enough to cover the essentials.

(1888 – 1957) English priest & theologian
Communication

Farmer: A man who is outstanding in his field.

Definitions Wordplay

What Iran needs now is a more modern leader – a mullah lite.

(1973 – ) Iranian-born British comedian
Government Places Wordplay

Once you overcome your fear of public speaking, you’ll never be asked to speak again.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech

If I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Beliefs Communication Misspokements Opinion Speech