Subject: Communication (Page 14)

I have an idea that the phrase ‘weaker sex’ was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Language Men People Women

A metaphor is like a simile.


Communication Language

Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Characteristics Communication Money

The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Communication Reading/Writing

In the back of Hughes' mind must be the thought that he will dance down the piss and mitch one.


Sports Wordplay

To avoid misunderstanding, I’ll stop speaking formal English and just use the binocular.

Communication Language Malaprops

At the all-you-can-eat barbecue, you have to pay the regular dinner price if you eat less than you can.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Food/Drink Wordplay

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs.

(1946 – ) British playwright, screen writer & film director
Communication Reviews/Criticism

I bought a dictionary, and the first thing I did was look up dictionary… it said “you’re an asshole.”

(1973 – ) American comedian
Books Communication Language Reading/Writing

Don't have sex… it leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Communication Conversation Sex

The first draft of anything is shit.

(1899 – 1961) author & journalist
Communication Reading/Writing

Tissue: Your daily nosepaper.

Definitions Wordplay

When Mr. Wilbur calls his play ‘Halfway to Hell,’ he underestimates the distance.

(1894 – 1984) theatre critic
Communication Reviews/Criticism

And for the record, all marriages are same sex marriages; you get married, and every night, it’s the same sex.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Marriage Sex Wordplay

Lawyer: One who protects us against robbery by taking away the temptation.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Communication Government Language Lawyers

If Attila the Hun were alive today, he'd be a drama critic.

(1928 – ) playwright
Communication Entertainment Reading/Writing

Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics Communication Money Speech

Four-letter Word: Par for the coarse.

Definitions Golf Language Sports

I wrote a script and gave it to a guy that reads scripts, and he read it and said he really likes it, but he thinks I need to rewrite it; I said, f**k that, I’ll just make a copy.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication Reading/Writing

I believe in the right to arm bears.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Beliefs Opinion Wordplay

The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.

(1911 – 1978) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Intelligence Opinion