Subject: Communication (Page 14)

Fame loses a little of its cache when you have to tell people that you have it.

(1975 – ) English comedian, actor & writer
Communication Speech Success

Just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome; it started off badly, but by the end I really liked it.

(1927 – 2018) British comedian, singer & songwriter
Books Communication Reading/Writing Wordplay

Most people tire of a lecture in ten minutes; clever people can do it in five; sensible people never go to lectures at all.

(1869 – 1944) Canadian economist & humorist
Communication Speech

Mouth: In man, the gateway to the soul; in woman, the outlet of the heart.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Homer also wrote the Oddity.

Books Malaprops Reading/Writing

What’s interesting about sports writers is that they don’t know how to play sports, and a lot of them don’t know how to write.

(1978 – ) American comedian & writer
Communication Occupations Reading/Writing Work

Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Beliefs Communication God Health Speech

Yankees' owner George Steinbrenner is a first-and-ten capitalist in a bunt-and-run world.

American sportswriter
Baseball Communication Sports

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them.

(1955– ) writer & screenwriter
Conversation Men People Sex Women

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Communication Husbands Marriage Speech Time Wives

All phone calls are obscene.

American author
Communication Language

If a man says, "I'll call you," and he doesn't, he didn't forget, he didn't lose your number, he didn't die… he just didn't want to call you.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Communication Men People

Some hospitals are so crowded that the only way you can get in is by accident.


Health Wordplay

Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Communication Self Speech

I see cards that say ‘Get Well Soon’ … F**k that, get well now!

(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication Health

No name, no matter how simple, can be correctly understood over the phone.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Things

Gossip: Hearing something you like about someone you don’t.

(1907 – 1987) journalist & columnist
Communication Speech

English painter & sculptor Frederic Leighton to James McNeill Whistler: My dear Whistler, you leave your pictures in such a sketchy, unfinished state. Why don't you ever finish them?

Whistler’s reply: My dear Leighton, why do you ever begin yours?

(1834 – 1903) American-born, British-based artist
Communication Entertainment Insults

Creative Cursing: A Mix ‘n’ Match Profanity Generator

Book Titles Communication

We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Misspokements Speech

If I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Beliefs Communication Misspokements Opinion Speech