Subject: Communication (Page 22)

Avoid fruit and nuts; you are what you eat.

(1945 –) American cartoonist (Garfield)

I’ve given up asking rhetorical questions… what’s the point?

(1952 – ) British stand-up comedian, actor & author

Reading is an escape, an education, a delving into the brain of another human being on such an intimate level that every nuance of thought, every snapping of synapse, every slippery desire of the author is laid open before you… like, well… a book.

American playwright, television writer & author

It’s a very good historical book about history.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician

None but the dead have free speech.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

A toastmaster is a man who eats a meal he doesn’t want so he can get up and tell a lot of stories he doesn’t remember to people who’ve already heard them.

(1898 – 1981) actor, singer, songwriter & movie producer

I always confuse the words exotic and erotic; that made for a very awkward conversation at my local pet store.

comic, actor, & writer

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

(1946 – ) American comedian

Children always take the line of most persistence.

writer

A critic is a bunch of biases held loosely together by a sense of taste.

(1926 – 2007) American jazz critic & book reviewer

Our customer's paperwork is profit. Our own paperwork is loss.

So this cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says "Audi!"

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian

Abbreviation: Long word with, ironically, no obvious shorter alternative.

British writer, cartoonist, poet & performer

I think I’m really learning a lot from my creative writing classes; the entire experience is just indescribable.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

Umm, trouble with grammar have I, yes?

Movie character in, Star Wars (Frank Oz)

I’m not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia; let them walk to school like I did!

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager

For Muhammad Ali to compose a few words of real poetry would be equal to an intellectual throwing a punch.

(1923 – 2007) American novelist, journalist & playwright

This book fills a much-needed gap.

(1900 – 1986) American teacher & translator

I don’t mind what language an opera is sung in so long as it is a language I don’t understand.

(1892 – 1965) English physicist

Generally I think influence is used as a nice word for plagiarism.

(1955 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor

Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something, I don’t know, I wasn’t really paying attention.

(1955 – ) American actor, musician & playwright