Subject: Communication (Page 22)

I have learned the difference between a cactus and a caucus; on a cactus, the pricks are on the outside.

(1922 – 1998) U.S. Representative (Arizona) & politician
Communication Government Language Politics

A gossip columnist is someone who uses dirt to make a mountain out of a molehill.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication

I’m all in favor of free expression provided it’s kept rigidly under control.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Communication

There is no thief like a bad book.

Books Communication Proverbs Reading/Writing

An autobiography usually reveals nothing bad about its writer except his memory.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Books Communication Memory Reading/Writing

A good review is considered nepotism; a bad one professional jealousy.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Opinion

Last night I fell asleep in a satellite dish… my dreams were broadcast all over the world.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Situations Sleep World

Quote me as saying I was misquoted.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Communication Language

An argument is a question with two sides and no end.

Beliefs Communication

Cynic: A man who sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Deliberation: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

Communication Language

Eating without conversation is only stoking.

writer
Communication Conversation Eating Food/Drink

Foresight is knowing when to shut your mouth before someone suggests it.

Communication Speech

Having to read a footnote resembles having to go downstairs to answer the door while in the midst of making love.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Books Communication Reading/Writing Sex

We have the power to bore people long after we are dead.

(1885 – 1951) American novelist, short-story writer & playwright
Communication People Reading/Writing Self

There's no sense in being precise when you don't even know what you're talking about.

(1903 – 1957) Hungarian-American mathematician
Communication Intelligence Speech

‘Finger Puppet’ sounds OK as a noun.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication Language

Did you ever meet a mother who’s complained that her child phoned her too often… me neither.

(1946 – ) British actress, columnist & comedian
Children Communication Family Mothers

One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.

Communication History Murphy’s Laws Speech

I quit my job at the helium gas factory; I refuse to be spoken to in that tone.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Speech Work