Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Communication
(Page 22)
Ned, I would love to stay here and talk with you… but I’m not going to.
Bill Murray
(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
Communication
Conversation
TV/Movie Quotes
As Phil Connors in “Groundhog Day”
Loquacity: A disorder which renders the sufferer unable to curb his tongue when you wish to talk.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication
Conversation
Definitions
Language
Speech
Loquacity
I would rather see the portrait of a dog that I know, than all the allegorical paintings they can show me in the world.
Samuel Johnson
(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer
Art
Communication
Entertainment
Criticism
Paintings
As Doris Day used to sing
Que Seroo Seroo.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Communication
Language
Malaprops
Que sera sera
Publishing a volume of verse is like dropping a rose petal down the Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo.
Don Marquis
(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Books
Communication
Reading/Writing
Echo
Grand Canyon
Rose petal
Verse
Hey, if anyone knows how to fix some broken hinges, my door’s always open.
Paul Taylor
(1987 – ) British comedian
Communication
Things
Wordplay
Hinges
I try to leave out the parts that people skip.
Elmore Leonard
(1925 – ) novelist & screenwriter
Books
Communication
Reading/Writing
I always say beauty is only sin deep.
‘Saki’ H.H. Munro
(1870 – 1916) British writer
Appearance
Wordplay
Beauty
From "Reginald's Choir Treat"
Sin
Whenever one word or letter can change the entire meaning of a sentence, the probability of an error being made will be in direct proportion to the embarrassment it will cause.
Considine's Law
Communication
Language
Murphy’s Laws
Speech
Embarrassment
I’m an Atheist… thank God.
Dave Allen
(1936 – 2005) Irish comedian
Beliefs
God
Religion
Wordplay
Atheists
Spanish? I thought they were just English words I didn't know.
Christina Applegate
(1971 – ) American actress
Communication
Language
TV/Movie Quotes
As Kelly Bundy in “Married With Children”
Science Fiction: Fairy tales for nerds.
Anonymous
Communication
Definitions
Science/Weather
Science fiction
Gigolo: A fee-male.
Anonymous
Definitions
Wordplay
A simple story, however inaccurate or misleading, is preferred to a complicated explanation, however true.
Koppett’s Observation
Communication
Murphy’s Laws
(Leonard Koppett)
Simplicity
He would come in and say he changed his mind… which was a gilded figure of speech, because he didn't have any.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication
Intelligence
Language
Mind
Gilded figure of speech
Contempt: The feeling of a prudent man for an enemy who is too formidable safely to be opposed.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication
Definitions
Language
Contempt
Enemies
A critic is a gong at a railroad crossing clanging loudly and vainly as the train goes by.
Christopher Morley
(1890 – 1957) author & journalist
Communication
Criticism
Critics
Noise
Railroad crossings
NOKIA – connocting poopie [sic]
Translation
Communication
Translations
Easy way to make someone sound less powerful, just put DJ in front of their name… DJ Abraham Lincoln.
Demetri Martin
(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication
Language
Boy, those French… they have a different word for everything!
Steve Martin
(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Communication
Language
French
Words
It's high time the press finally got one thing right about me.
Chris Evert
(1954 – ) American professional tennis player
Appearance
Body
Communication
Criticism
On a publication proclaiming she "has the best boobs in the business.”
Page 22 of 86
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