Subject: Communication (Page 42)

I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together; it was riveting.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Language

Here I am paying big money to you writers and what for? … all you do is change the words.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Communication Misspokements Occupations Reading/Writing Work

If you substitute damn every time you’re inclined to write very your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Language Reading/Writing

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Situations

The past does not repeat itself, but it rhymes.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Language Past Time

My husband asked me to talk dirty to him during sex; I told him to go f**k himself.


Communication Sex Speech

Sadist: A person who is kind to a masochist.

Definitions People Wordplay

A million monkeys were given a million typewriters… it’s called the Internet.

(1967 – ) English comedian
Communication Things

Sarcasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn’t get it.

Communication Definitions

And take it off CAPS LOCK!

Communication

I am a man of my word… and that word is “unreliable.”

(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication Language Self

If I could drop dead right now, I’d be the happiest man alive.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Death Happiness Misspokements Speech

Been reading up on the thesaurus lately because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage.

Books Communication

I shouldn’t say bad things about the illiterate, though… I should write it.

(1978 – ) American comedian & writer
Communication Reading/Writing

Reading is an escape, an education, a delving into the brain of another human being on such an intimate level that every nuance of thought, every snapping of synapse, every slippery desire of the author is laid open before you… like, well… a book.

American playwright, television writer & author
Books Communication Reading/Writing

My piñata costume was a hit with the crowd

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

A classic is a book which people praise, but no one reads.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Books Communication Reading/Writing

He’s a writer for the ages… for the ages of four to eight.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Communication Reading/Writing Reviews/Criticism

Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Characteristics Communication Money

My wife… its difficult to say what she does… she sells seashells on the seashore.

(1964 – ) English comedian
Communication