Subject: Communication (Page 44)

I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication

I can tell I’m getting old because my Kindle is turning into a self-help library.

(1982 – ) American actress, stand-up comedian & writer
Age Books Old Reading/Writing

“Good morning” is a contradiction of terms.

(1945 –) American cartoonist (Garfield)
Communication Language

If I had a dollar for every time I said that, I'd be making money in a very weird way.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication Money Speech

You ever read a book that changed your life? … me neither.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Books Communication

Definition: A statement intended to put a word in its place.

Communication Definitions Language

A drama critic is a man who leaves no turn unstoned.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Communication Entertainment Wordplay

I have given up reading books; I find it takes my mind off myself.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Books Communication People Reading/Writing Self

Dyselxics Have More Nuf.

Communication Health Language

A kiss that speaks volumes is seldom a first edition.

(1892 – 1972) American comedian, dancer & composer
Emotions Sex Wordplay

Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals Communication Language

I think that people who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Communication Lies Reading/Writing

The enemy never monitors your radio frequency until you broadcast on an unsecured channel.

Communication Military

1. All's well that ends.
2. A penny saved is a penny.
3. Don't leave things unfinishe

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws

I wrote a script and gave it to a guy that reads scripts, and he read it and said he really likes it, but he thinks I need to rewrite it; I said, f**k that, I’ll just make a copy.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication Reading/Writing

The penis mightier than the sword.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Wordplay

If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Failure Misspokements Speech Success

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Characteristics Communication

Americans don't really understand what's going on in Bosnia; to them it's the unspellables killing the unpronouncables.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Communication Language Places

Isn't it possible for them to get a real fascist instead of this guy who plays one on TV?

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Characteristics Communication Television

I used to go to the driving range to practice driving without slicing; now I go to the driving range to practice slicing without swearing.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Communication Golf Speech Sports