Subject: Communication (Page 60)

Don't use commas, which aren't necessary.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

You have the right to remain silent; anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.

Communication Law Speech

All men hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, SEX, blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah, BEER.

(1957 – ) American actor, comedian, writer & director
Alcohol Beer Communication Men Sex Speech

Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river.

Communication Insults Murphy’s Laws

I ran a sculpting studio, until it went bust.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Alarm Clock: That which scares the daylight out of you.

Definitions Wordplay

Wouldn't let 'em get in a word wedgewise.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Communication Malaprops Speech

Gold Digger: A woman after all.

Definitions People Women Wordplay

The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Communication

Does it disturb anyone else that “The Los Angeles Angels” baseball team translates directly to “The The Angels Angels”?

(1958 – ) American astrophysicist, cosmologist, author & science communicator
Communication

Fine words! … I wonder where you stole them.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
Characteristics Communication Honesty Insults

I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they're saying.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Communication Language Speech

A simple story, however inaccurate or misleading, is preferred to a complicated explanation, however true.

Communication Murphy’s Laws

Whenever one word or letter can change the entire meaning of a sentence, the probability of an error being made will be in direct proportion to the embarrassment it will cause.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Speech

If love means never having to say you're sorry, then marriage means always having to say everything twice.

(1924 – 2008) American actress
Communication Marriage Speech

Polite conversation is rarely either.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Communication Conversation Speech

I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Communication Language

My aunt used to say, ‘What you can’t see, can’t hurt you’… well, she died of radiation poisoning a few months back.

(1964 – ) English comedian, author & television presenter
Communication

Things are more like they are now than they have ever been.

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president
Communication Misspokements Speech Time

Fiction writing is great; you can make up almost anything.

(1949 – ) ex-wife of cretin Donald Trump
Communication Reading/Writing

Obesity: A surplus gone to waist.

Appearance Body Definitions Fat Wordplay