Subject: Communication (Page 65)

Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

(1973 – ) English comedian, writer, actor, director & producer
Communication

Autobiography: An I-witness account

Books Communication Definitions People Self

Americans don't really understand what's going on in Bosnia; to them it's the unspellables killing the unpronouncables.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Communication Language Places

Five out of every three people have trouble understanding fractions.

(1927 – 2018) British comedian, singer & songwriter
Science/Weather Wordplay

I, of course, don’t have an accent; this is just how things sound when they are pronounced properly.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Communication Language

Three years ago, I couldn't spell author. Now I am one.

Canadian hockey player, coach & commentator
Communication Hockey Reading/Writing Sports

I think I’m really learning a lot from my creative writing classes; the entire experience is just indescribable.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Education Learning Reading/Writing

There's no sense in being precise when you don't even know what you're talking about.

(1903 – 1957) Hungarian-American mathematician
Communication Intelligence Speech

I don’t talk during sex ‘cause it’s embarrassing and it might wake her up.

stand-up comedian & writer
Communication Sex Speech

Don't use commas, which aren't necessary.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Electrocardiograph: Ticker tape.

Definitions Wordplay

Those magazine dieting stories always have the testimonial of a woman who wore a dress that could slip-cover New Jersey in one photo and thirty days later looked like a well-dressed thermometer.

(1918 – 2007) American humor writer
Communication Food/Drink Reading/Writing

I don’t have any children but if I had a baby I would have to name it so I’d buy a “baby naming book” … or I would invite somebody over who had a cast on.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Books Children Family

To eat is human, to digest, divine.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Eating Food/Drink Wordplay

My boss told me to get my butt in gear… I told him I was shiftless.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Communication Language Work

Just seen the grave of the woman from My Fair Lady… it says ‘Here lies a Doolittle’.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Communication Wordplay

If people don't sit at Chaplin's feet, he goes out and stands where they are sitting.

(1897 – 1953) American writer & producer
Communication

German in the most extravagantly ugly language – it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747.

(1937 – 1996) English cartoonist, satirist, comedian & actor
Communication Insults Language

If you can’t explain what you’re doing in simple English, you are probably doing something wrong.

Communication Intelligence Language Murphy’s Laws

“A WARM HAND ON YOUR OPENING.”

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Communication Wordplay

Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial “we.”

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Language