Subject: Communication (Page 84)

I keep reading between the lies.

(Aiskowitz) (1899 – 1982) humorist
Characteristics Language Lies Truth

I have Bright's Disease… and he has mine.

(1904 – 1979) Jewish-American humorist, author & screenwriter
Health Wordplay

I realized I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Wordplay

The more time you spend in reporting on what you are doing, the less time you have to do anything. Stability is achieved when you spend all your time doing nothing but reporting on the nothing you are doing.

Communication Murphy’s Laws

You will, Oscar, you will.

(1834 – 1903) American-born, British-based artist
Communication Speech

Incest is relatively boring.

Family Sex Wordplay

Oscar night at my house is called Passover.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Communication Wordplay

Actress Claudette Colbert: I knew these lines backwards last night.

Coward: And that’s just the way you’re saying them this morning.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Acting Communication Entertainment Speech

Women speak two languages – one of which is verbal.

(1564 – 1616) English dramatist & poet
Communication Language People Women

It is a cliché that most clichés are true, but then like most clichés, that cliché is untrue.

(1957 – ) English actor, writer, journalist, comedian & film director
Communication Language

The reason most people talk to themselves is because they’re often the only ones who will listen.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication Speech

We should go metric every inch of the way.

Language Science/Weather

Beware of and eschew pompous prolixity.

Communication Language Lawyers

Literature is an occupation in which you have to keep proving your talent to people who have none.

(1864 – 1910) French author
Communication People Reading/Writing

Then, of course, there's that old one: Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Listening to a speech by Chamberlain is like paying a visit to Woolworth's; everything in its place and nothing above sixpence.

(1897 – 1960) Welsh labor leader & politician
Insults Speech

Fame loses a little of its cache when you have to tell people that you have it.

(1975 – ) English comedian, actor & writer
Communication Speech Success

I caught my wife in bed with another man and I was crushed… so I said, “Get off of me, you two!”

(1956 – ) American comedian
Communication Wordplay

Newspapers are unable, seemingly, to discriminate between a bicycle accident and the collapse of civilization.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Communication

Abbreviation: Long word with, ironically, no obvious shorter alternative.

British writer, cartoonist, poet & performer
Definitions Language Reading/Writing

Today’s public figures can no longer write their own speeches or books, and there is some evidence that they can’t read them either.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Communication Reading/Writing Speech Success