Subject: Communication (Page 82)

There are two sides to every argument, and they’re usually married to each other.

Communication Conflict Marriage Speech

I'm thirty years old, but I read at the thirty-four-year-old level.

(1955 – ) actor & comedian
Age Communication Reading/Writing

Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today.

Communication Reading/Writing Taxes

Fine words! … I wonder where you stole them.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
Characteristics Communication Honesty Insults

A simple story, however inaccurate or misleading, is preferred to a complicated explanation, however true.

Communication Murphy’s Laws

I wrote a script and gave it to a guy that reads scripts and he read it and said he really likes it, but he thinks I need to rewrite it; I said, f**k that, I'll just make a copy.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication Reading/Writing

Studying literature at Harvard is like learning about women at the Mayo Clinic.

(1941) American writer & humorist
Communication Language Reading/Writing

When you are right, be logical; when you are wrong, be-fuddle.

Communication Murphy’s Laws

During an election campaign the air is full of speeches and vice versa.

(1838 – 1918) journalist, historian, academic & novelist
Communication Elections/Voting Government Speech

A good storyteller is a person with a good memory and hopes other people haven't.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist
Communication Memory Speech

Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Happiness Language People Sex

Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.

(1908 – 1965) American broadcast journalist & newscaster
Communication Intelligence Speech Wisdom World

Writing is turning one’s worst moments into money.

(1926 – ) Irish American novelist & playwright
Communication Reading/Writing

The politician is an acrobat; he keeps his balance by doing the opposite of what he says.

(1862 – 1923) French writer & politician
Communication Government Politicians

Avant-garde? … That’s French for bullshit.

(1940 – 1980) English rock musician, singer & songwriter
Communication Language

Accordionated: Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time.

Definitions Wordplay

Outspoken? By whom?

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Communication Speech

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Communication Reading/Writing Success

The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Communication Entertainment

You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Communication