Subject: Communication » Wordplay (Page 2)

If pro is the opposite of con, what's the opposite of progress?

(1918 – 2009) radio broadcaster
Communication Wordplay

Corduroy pillows: They’re making headlines!

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Things Wordplay

Gold Digger: A woman after all.

Definitions People Women Wordplay

Announce: Thirty grams or a sixteenth of a pound.

Definitions Wordplay

Teetotaler: One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Alcohol Definitions Wordplay

Good girls go to heaven; bad girls go everywhere else.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Communication Wordplay

I really wanted kids when I was in my early 20s but I could just never… lure them into my car; no, I'm kidding… I don’t have a license.

(1980 – ) Australian comedian
Children Communication Family Wordplay

Sadist: A person who is kind to a masochist.

Definitions People Wordplay

Nothing risqué nothing gained!

(1933 – 1967) American actress, entertainer & Hollywood sex symbol
Communication Sex Wordplay

I remember what my grandmother said to me on her deathbed: She said: ‘I wish I’d bought a normal bed.’

British stand-up comedian, writer & actor
Communication Death Last words Wordplay

I’m not worried about the Third World War… that’s the Third World’s problem.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Conflict War Wordplay

So I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, he sent me a large goat with a long neck, turns out I phoned dial-a-lama.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Obesity: A surplus gone to waist.

Appearance Body Definitions Fat Wordplay

The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is that one often comes from strong will, and the other from strong won’t.

(1813 – 1887) American clergyman, social reformer & abolitionist
Characteristics Wordplay

Polygamy – the art of  parrot-folding.

comic actor-writer
Communication Definitions Wordplay

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Communication Wordplay Work

Should not the Society of Indexers be known as Indexers Society of, The?

(1929 – 2009) British novelist, newspaper columnist & television writer
Occupations Wordplay Work

This bloke said to me: ‘I’m going to attack you with the neck of a guitar;’ I said: ‘Is that a fret?’

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
Miscellaneous Wordplay

How can there be self-help groups?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

The early bird gets the worm but the late worm gets to live.

comedian, writer & editor
Communication Wordplay

There are very few people at the Fringe these days doing Roman-numeral jokes; I is one.

British comedian
Communication Wordplay