Subject: Communication » Wordplay (Page 3)

Parents: People who bear infants, bore teenagers, and board newlyweds.

Definitions Family Parents Wordplay

Invitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

writer
Communication Wordplay

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

(1973 – ) English comedian, writer, actor, director & producer
Communication Wordplay

How is it possible to have a civil war?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Conflict War Wordplay

He was married to an acrobat, but she caught him in the act.

Communication Wordplay

Archaeology is the science that proves you can’t keep a good man down.

Science/Weather Wordplay

Sewing Circle: A group of women who needle each other.

Definitions Friends Wordplay

Racehorse: A barn athlete.

Animals Definitions Wordplay

Obesity is really widespread.

Appearance Fat Wordplay

I’m an Atheist… thank God.

(1936 – 2005) Irish comedian
Beliefs God Religion Wordplay

I always say beauty is only sin deep.

(1870 – 1916) British writer
Appearance Wordplay

President Ford tells us all to bite the bullet and Betsy Ford goes on TV and shoots off her mouth.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Communication TV/Movie Quotes Wordplay

My girlfriend’s dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one: She was livid… “What am I going to do with two dead dogs?”

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Animals Dogs Wordplay

Girdle: Accessory after the fat.

Appearance Clothing Definitions Wordplay

A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on.

Communication Wordplay

Experimental psychologist: A scientist who pulls habits out of rats.

(1904 – 1974) American author & radio producer
Definitions Occupations Wordplay Work

Barber: The town cutup.

Definitions Wordplay

I am having an out-of-money experience.

Communication Wordplay

I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, he sent me a large goat with a long neck, turns out I phoned dial-a-lama.

(1964 – ) English comedian
Communication Wordplay

To eat is human, to digest, divine.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Eating Food/Drink Wordplay

You know who really gives kids a bad name? … Posh and Becks.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Children Communication Wordplay