Subject: Communication » Wordplay (Page 9)

He was engaged to a contortionist, but she broke it off.

Communication Relationships Wordplay

Umpire: The original strike arbitrator.

Definitions Wordplay

Apex: A gorilla’s old girlfriend.

Definitions Wordplay

In court I was found guilty of being egotistical… I am appealing.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

As soon as the hospital made me put on one of those little gowns, I knew the end was in sight.


Communication Situations Wordplay

President Ford tells us all to bite the bullet and Betsy Ford goes on TV and shoots off her mouth.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Communication TV/Movie Quotes Wordplay

Through no fault of his own my uncle crashed his car into a lemon tree; he is still bitter and twisted.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

I went to a Pretenders gig; it was a tribute act.

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
Communication Wordplay

Is it possible to mistake schizophrenia for telepathy, I hear you ask.

comedian
Health Wordplay

Spilt Milk: Udder waste.

Definitions Food/Drink Wordplay

I’m good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet… I don’t know why.

British comedian
Communication Wordplay

Is ‘tired old cliche’ one?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

“A WARM HAND ON YOUR OPENING.”

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Communication Wordplay

Urinalysis: The study of pissed off people.

Definitions Health Wordplay

If you don't know what introspection is… you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.

(1988 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Characteristics Communication Wordplay

If I repeatedly stab my cornflakes does that make me a cereal killer?

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

(1946 – ) American comedian
Communication Wordplay

Just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome; it started off badly, but by the end I really liked it.

(1927 – 2018) British comedian, singer & songwriter
Books Communication Reading/Writing Wordplay

The chickens have come home to roast.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Malaprops Wordplay

A chrysanthemum by any other name… would be easier to pronounce.

(1945 – ) American actress, film director & producer
Communication TV/Movie Quotes Wordplay

My girlfriend’s dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one: She was livid… “What am I going to do with two dead dogs?”

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Animals Dogs Wordplay