Subject: Death (Page 21)

Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me – I quit."

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator

God will forgive me. It is his profession.

(1797 – 1856) German critic & poet

If my dead father was alive to hear that, it would kill him.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

He'd make a lovely corpse.

(1812 – 1870) English novelist

I’m not unwell, I’m f**king dying.

(1932 – 1997) British journalist

Patriotism: The willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons dreamed up by politicians.

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

(1925 – 2005) television host

Every damn fool thing you do in this life you pay for.

(1915 – 1963) French singer & cultural icon

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian

How were the receipts today at Madison Square Garden?

(1810 – 1891) American showman, businessman, entertainer & circus founder

So here it is!

(69 BC – 30 BC) last pharaoh of Ancient Egypt

Hey, fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow's paper? 'French Fries'!

(c.1936 – 1966) American convicted murderer

When I die, I’m leaving my body to science fiction.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

You can be a king or a street sweeper, but everyone dances with the Grim Reaper.

(1953 – 1992) American career criminal & convicted murderer

I think you're right, Wyatt. I can't see a god damn thing.

(1851 – 1882) younger brother of Deputy U.S. Marshals Virgil & Wyatt Earp

If you really believe that death leads to eternal bliss, then why are you wearing a seatbelt?

(1967 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor

I am starting to believe you are not intending to count me amongst your friends.

(1879 – 1936) Spanish comic playwright

There is no such thing as inner peace; there is only nervousness and death.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow.

(1955 –2011) business magnate, co-founder & CEO of Apple

Ah, Luisa, you always arrive just as I am leaving.

(1798 – 1866) Italian statesman, novelist & painter