Subject: Death (Page 21)

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Alcohol Death Food/Drink Time

There comes a time in every man’s life… and I’ve had many of them.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Communication Death Misspokements Speech Time

They say you shouldn’t say nothin’ about the dead unless it’s good; he’s dead… good!

(1894 – 1975) American comedian
Communication Death Speech

Yes… a bullet-proof vest

(1910 – 1960) American robber & convicted murderer
Last words

It is my last wish to be buried sitting up.

(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater
Death Situations

Death is nature’s way of saying “Howdy.”

Death

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.

(1923 – 1999) American satirical novelist, short story writer & playwright
Death

You haven’t lived until you’ve died in California.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Death Life Places

Eulogy: Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

Death Definitions

My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him… but I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Death Situations

Is it safe?

(1824-1856) doctor & convicted multiple murderer
Last words

Surveys show that the #1 fear of Americans is public speaking. #2 is death. Death is #2. That means that at a funeral, the average American would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Death TV/Movie Quotes

It's a long time since I drank champagne.

(1860 – 1904) Russian short-story writer, playwright & physician
Last words

Do you realize we’re only a heart attack away from Bush being president?

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Death Government President

My design is to make what haste I can to be gone.

(1599 – 1658) English military & political leader
Last words

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian
Death Life

Applaud, my friends, the comedy is finished.

(1770 – 1827) German composer & pianist
Last words

Secretary: It must be hard to lose your mother-in-law.

Field’s reply: Yes, it is, very hard… it’s almost impossible.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Death Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

Dying is no big deal, living is the trick.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter
Death Life

A few decades ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Hope, no Cash and no Jobs; please don’t let Kevin Bacon die!

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
Death

Well, now I must go to meet God and try to explain all those men I killed at Alamein.

(1887 – 1976) British Army officer
Last words