Subject: Definitions (Page 25)

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Abortion: Love's labor lost.

Definitions

Capitol: The seat of misgovernment.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Government

Keyboard: The standard way to generate computer errors.

Computers Definitions Things

Husband: Someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

Definitions Husbands Marriage

Death: Life’s way of telling you you’ve been fired.

Death Definitions Life

Hypochondriac: Someone who enjoys bad health.

Definitions Health

Hip: Smartly attuned to the latest cutting-edge cliches.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Clichés: Fixtures of speech.

Definitions Language

Income: The sum of money which it costs more than to live.

Definitions Money

Gold Digger: A girl who will date any man that can pass the asset test.

Definitions Money People Women

Reformer: One who wants his conscience to be your guide.

Definitions

Fern: A plant that you’re supposed to water once a day, and when you don’t it dies, but if you do it dies anyway, only not so soon.

Definitions

Senility: The pleasantly rueful experience of forgetting what we’ve forgotten.

Age Definitions Intelligence Memory Old

Venereal Disease: Germs of endearment.

Definitions Health

Bill Collector: A man whom few care to see but many ask to call again.

Definitions

Double Jeopardy: When your doctor calls in a consulting physician.

Definitions Doctors Health

Dictatorship: A system of government where everything that isn’t forbidden is obligatory.

Definitions Government

Impossible: What nobody can do until somebody does it.

Definitions

Average: The poorest of the good and the best of the bad.

Definitions

Detour: The roughest distance between two points.

Activities Definitions Travel

Disrespect: Giving someone half of the peace sign without suggesting they’re number one.

Definitions