Subject: Definitions (Page 3)

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Alimony: The sum of money a man is commanded to pay his ex-wife in exchange for the pleasure of having her live under a separate roof.

Definitions Marriage

Antique Shop: A junk store that has raised its prices.

Definitions

Gold Digger: A woman after all.

Definitions People Women Wordplay

Patience: A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language

Pacifist: A fellow who could attend a peace conference without getting into a fight.

Conflict Definitions Fights People

Theatre director: a person engaged by the management to conceal the fact that the players cannot act.

(1877 – 1947) British diarist & critic
Acting Definitions Entertainment Occupations

In Mexico, we have a word for sushi… bait.

(1945 – 2008) American comedian & musician
Definitions Food/Drink Places

Home: A place where man goes to raise a fuss because something went wrong at the office.

Definitions Places

Polygamy – the art of  parrot-folding.

comic actor-writer
Communication Definitions Wordplay

Inhibition: Being tied up in nots.

Definitions

Urinal: The one place where all men are peers.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Men

G String: Gownless evening strap.

Clothing Definitions

An editor is someone who separates the wheat from the chaff and then prints the chaff.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Communication Definitions Occupations

Matrimony: The splice of life.

Definitions Marriage Wordplay

Three stages of sex in a man’s life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

Definitions Men Sex

Acute Alcoholic: An attractive drunk.

Alcohol Definitions

Good Neighbor: One who makes his noise at the same time you make yours.

Definitions

Middle age is when you stop criticizing the older generation and start criticizing the younger one.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Age Definitions

Twilight: All the difference between day and night.

Definitions Time

Eulogy: Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

Death Definitions