Subject: Definitions (Page 30)

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Quotation: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Speech

Executive: A man who talks to visitors so the other employees can get their work done.

Definitions Occupations Work

Newlywed: What you and your spouse will officially be considered until your first anniversary, or until you go an entire week without sex (whichever comes first).

Definitions Marriage

Alas: Early Victorian for, “Oh, Hell.”

Communication Definitions Language

Discretion: Being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.

Definitions

Christian: A man who feels repentance on a Sunday for what he did on Saturday and is going to do on Monday.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions Religion

Prostitute: A busy body.

Definitions

Acme: Spots on the top of your head.

Definitions

Toupée: Top secret.

Appearance Definitions Hair

Selfishness: Annoying quality of someone who has what I want, but is not prepared to give it to me.

Definitions

Parents: People who bear infants, bore teenagers, and board newlyweds.

Definitions Family Parents Wordplay

Lisp: To Call a spade a thpade.

(1863 – 1935) British-born American writer, artist & illustrator
Definitions

Obesity: A surplus gone to waist.

Appearance Body Definitions Fat Wordplay

Ability: What you have to get by on if you don’t kiss-up to the boss.

Definitions

Diet Planner: A fast talker.

Definitions

Depression: A period in which you have no belt to tighten.

Definitions Frugal Money

Durable Goods: Those that last longer than the time payments.

Definitions Things

Bored: To attend meetings.

Definitions

Diet: selection of foods for people who are thick and tired of it.

Definitions Food/Drink

Antique Shop: A junk store that has raised its prices.

Definitions

Beer: The method of turning grain into urine.

Beer Definitions Food/Drink