Subject: Definitions (Page 4)

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Job: A place where you work just hard enough to avoid getting fired while getting paid just enough to avoid quitting.

Definitions Work

Righteous Indignation: Your own wrath, as opposed to the shocking bad temper of others.

Anger Definitions Emotions

Rhetoric: Language in a dress suit.

Definitions Language

Quality of Life: What an industrialized nation is said to offer when enough of its citizens are suffering from terminal stress.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Counsel: Advice with a price tag.

Definitions

Senility: The pleasantly rueful experience of forgetting what we’ve forgotten.

Age Definitions Intelligence Memory Old

Disneyland: A people trap operated by a mouse.

Definitions

Violinist: A high-strung musician.

Definitions Entertainment Music Wordplay

Government Bureau: Where the taxpayer’s shirt is kept.

Definitions Government Taxes

Auctioneer: The man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Speech

Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

Definitions

Adolescent: One who is well informed about anything he doesn’t have to study.

Definitions

Rugby: A game played by gentlemen with odd-shaped balls.

Definitions Sports

Apartment: A place where the landlord and the tenant are both trying to raise the rent.

Definitions

Etiquette: A convenient code of conduct which makes lying a virtue and snobbishness a righteous deed.

Definitions

Job: A state of employment everyone wants but few look forward to on a Monday morning.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Work

Newlywed: What you and your spouse will officially be considered until your first anniversary, or until you go an entire week without sex (whichever comes first).

Definitions Marriage

Auctioneer: The man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.

Definitions Occupations

Bugs: Small living things that small living boys throw on small living girls.

Animals Definitions

Neurotic: A person who, when you ask how she is, tells you.

Definitions People

College: A fountain of knowledge where students gather to drink.

Definitions Education School