Subject: Definitions (Page 50)

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Neighbors: The strangers who live next door.

Definitions People

Psychology: The science that tells you what you already know in words you can’t understand.

Definitions Science/Weather

Telephone: An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Things

Executive: A big gun – that hasn’t been fired yet.

Definitions

Christian: One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbors. 

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions Religion

Ingrate: A man who bites the hand that feeds him, and then complains of indigestion.

Definitions People

Archive: Where the two bees stayed after Noah brought them aboard.

Definitions

Business: Something which, if you don’t have any, you go out of.

Definitions

Quadruplets: Four crying out loud.

Children Definitions Wordplay

Parents: The one thing children wear out faster than shoes.

Definitions Family Parents

Callous: Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another.

Characteristics Definitions

Redneck: Popular term for a rustic male, but rarely employed when addressing one in person.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions People

Idiot: A man who sees your point in an argument but refuses to see your way.

Definitions Intelligence

Wrinkles: Something other people have… you have character lines.

Appearance Body Definitions

Overeat: To dine.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Eating Food/Drink Language

Middle Age: When your age starts to show around your middle the art of raising eyebrows instead of the roof. 

Age Definitions

Propaganda: Baloney disguised as food for thought.

Definitions Wordplay

Younger Generation: A group that is alike in many disrespects.

Age Definitions People Young

Camp: Where parents spend $1,000 for eight weeks to teach their child to make a 25-cent ash tray.

Definitions

Executive Suite: A sugar daddy.

Definitions

Electrician: A person who wires for money.

Definitions Occupations Work