Subject: Definitions (Page 7)

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Doctor: The only man who hasn’t a guaranteed cure for a cold.

Definitions Doctors Health

Chauffeur: A man who is smart enough to operate an automobile, but clever enough not to own one.

Autos Definitions Things

Boss: A personal dictator appointed to those of us fortunate enough to live in free societies.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Work

American Idealism: Being willing to make any sacrifice that won’t hurt business.

Definitions

Stroke: Any forward movement of the golf club that is made with the intention of hitting and moving the ball and is observed by another golfer.

Definitions Golf Sports

Lecher: A stud with liver spots.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Business: Something which, if you don’t have any, you go out of.

Definitions

Critic: One who boasts of being “hard to please” because nobody tries to please him. 

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Occupations Work

I guess the definition of a lunatic is a man surrounded by them.

(1885 – 1972) expatriate American poet & critic
Definitions Intelligence People

Bra: Decoration draped by your wife over the shower curtain rod in the bathroom.

Clothing Definitions

Depression: A period in which you have no belt to tighten.

Definitions Frugal Money

Alcohol: A liquid good for preserving everything except secrets.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink

Electrocution: Burning at the stake with all modern improvements.

Death Definitions

Honesty: The fear of being caught.

Characteristics Definitions

Courtship: A period during which a girl decides whether or not she can do better.

Definitions Relationships

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Government Language Law

Thrift: Common sense applied to spending.

Definitions Money

Boat: A hole in the water surrounded by wood into which one pours money.

Definitions Things

Whoa!: A brake for horses.

Animals Definitions

Four-letter Word: Par for the coarse.

Definitions Golf Language Sports

Falsies: A hope chest.

Body Clothing Definitions