Subject: Education (Page 13)

I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology… the study of milkmen.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Education

I paid $120,000 for someone to tell me to read Jane Austen, and then I didn’t.

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
Education Learning

You might be a redneck if… you have a bumper sticker that says, "MY MOTHER'S AN HONOR STUDENT AT SOUTH LITTLE ROCK JR. HIGH."

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Education Mothers People Rednecks School

They put me in Special Ed because they thought I was slow, but I stayed in Special Ed for the ladies.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker
Education Girls Intelligence School

Interviewer: Did you graduate from Auburn?
Charles: No, but I have a couple people working for me who did.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Education School Sports

Our school color was manila.

comedian
Education School

The one course you must take to graduate will not be offered during your last semester.

Education Murphy’s Laws

My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary section.

(1927 – ) American comedian
Education School

In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Education School Science/Weather

For those eight years Clinton was the president, it was like we had that really cool substitute teacher.

(1977 – ) American comedian
Education Government President

Dancing is a wonderful training for girls, it’s the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it.

(1890 – 1957) author & journalist
Activities Dance Education Girls Men People Women

The total attention paid to an instructor is a constant regardless of the size of the class.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

I never graduated from Iowa. I was only there for two terms – Truman's and Eisenhower's.

(1935 – 2012) American football player, sports announcer & actor
Education School

My father wanted me to have all the educational opportunities he never had… so he sent me to a girls school.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Education Fathers School

Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education Fools Intelligence Wisdom

Son, looks to me like you’re spending too much time on one subject.

college basketball coach
Education School Sports

I have never been jealous; not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Characteristics Education Fathers School

I have never in my life learned anything from any man who agreed with me.

(1882 – 1950) American attorney, politician, liberal activist & actor
Education Learning

You're looking at a very proud Canadian who is very proud of the educational system in Canadia.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Canada Education Learning

I'm from one of those places where the whole number system consists of one, two and a shitload.

(1955 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & impressionist
Education Places

Education consists mainly in what we have unlearned.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education Learning