Subject: Education » School (Page 2)

Describing her first day back in grade school after a long absence, a teacher said, it was like trying to hold 35 corks under water at the same time.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education School

A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall.

American basketball coach & executive
Education Football School Sports

Every child has a right to go to high school and end up with a third grade education.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Children Education Learning School

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Education Marriage School

[Coedness] is like a radical agenda forced on college students.

(1969 – ) U.S. Representative (Delaware)
Education Misspokements School Situations

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

Education Intelligence Money Murphy’s Laws School Stupidity

We are shut up in schools and college recitation rooms for ten or fifteen years, and come out at last with a bellyful of words and do not know a thing.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Education Learning School

My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary section.

(1927 – ) American comedian
Education School

She was old too, when she went to school they didn’t have history.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Age Education History Old School Time

My recipe for bad grades: don't study.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & voice actor
Education School

Sex doesn’t have to be taught; it’s something most of us are born with.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
School Sex

The more studying you did for the exam, the less sure you are as to which answer they want.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.

Education School

Teaching Latin to someone like me in high school was somewhat like trying to teach a pig to dance; it’s a waste of the teacher’s time and it irritates the pig.

U.S. Senator (1942 – 2015) U.S. senator (Tennessee) & actor
Education School

A prerequisite for a desired course will be offered only during the following semester.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

College seems like a pretty expensive way to become an alcoholic.

(1974 – ) American comedian
Education School

The average Ph.D. thesis is nothing but a transference of bones from one graveyard to another.

(1888 – 1964) American folklorist, writer & newspaper columnist
Education Ideas Intelligence School

The total attention paid to an instructor is a constant regardless of the size of the class.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

Interviewer: Did you graduate from Auburn?
Charles: No, but I have a couple people working for me who did.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Education School Sports

80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn't read.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. – unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.

(1928 – ) American R&B and rock & roll singer-songwriter
Education Occupations School Work