Subject: Entertainment (Page 3)

I got kicked out of Riverdance for using my arms.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

I know two kinds of audiences only – one coughing, and one not coughing.

(1882 – 1951) Austrian composer & pianist

He was a man who never let his left hip know what his right hip was doing.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

Television is to news what bumper stickers are to philosophy.

(1913 – 1994) 37th U.S. president

Elvis may have been the king of rock 'n' roll, but I am the queen.

Richard Penniman (1932 – ) American singer & pianist

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

He got a reputation as a great actor by just thinking hard about the next line.

(1894 – 1982) American film director, film producer & screenwriter

I love Wagner, but the music I prefer is that of a cat hung up by its tail outside a window and trying to stick to the panes of glass with its claws.

(1821 – 1867) French poet, essayist & art critic

Nine times out of ten in the arts, as in life, there is actually no truth to be discovered; there is only error to be exposed.

I thought Deep Throat was a movie about a giraffe.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

You might be a redneck if… you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You know the really great thing about television? If something important happens, anywhere in the world, night or day… you can always change the channel.

(1938 – ) American actor

Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.

(1924 – 1984) American author

Shoot a few scenes out of focus; I want to win the foreign film award.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer

Milton's act was every bit as good as Jessel's or Cantor's; in fact, it wasn't only just as good, it was the same.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people and don't come in clearly enough.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator

Berlioz composes by splashing his pen over the manuscript and leaving the issue to chance.

(1810 – 1849) Polish composer & virtuoso pianist

It would have been cheaper to lower the Atlantic.

(1906 – 1998) Russian-born English film producer & media mogul

Any fool can paint a picture, but it takes a wise man to be able to sell it.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist

God is good, but never dance in a small boat.

He couldn't ad-lib a fart after a baked-bean dinner.

(1925 – 2005) television host