Subject: Entertainment (Page 3)

Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands – and all you can do is scratch it.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor
Entertainment Insults Music

Welcome to the Academy Awards or, as it's called at my home, 'Passover.'

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Entertainment Self

I got a German porno movie… which has subtitles, which is great 'cause, otherwise, I would have had no idea what was going on.

stand-up comedian, writer & actor
Entertainment Film Sex

Painting is just another way of keeping a diary.

(1881 – 1973) Spanish painter, sculptor, printmaker & stage designer
Art Entertainment

Theatre director: a person engaged by the management to conceal the fact that the players cannot act.

(1877 – 1947) British diarist & critic
Acting Definitions Entertainment Occupations

For a director, a musical is a special kind of hell.

(1931 – 2014) German-born American director, producer, actor & comedian
Entertainment

The program you've been looking forward to all week will be preempted.

Entertainment Murphy’s Laws Television

Every Death Cab for Cutie song is the perfect soundtrack to me waiting for it to be over.

comedian
Entertainment Music

Stand-Up [comedy] is a lot like sex; there's a lot of crying involved and I get paid to do it.

(1982 – ) American actress & comedian
Entertainment Money Sex

The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Communication Entertainment

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

(1952 – ) American writer & comedian
Communication Emotions Entertainment Laughter

Berlioz composes by splashing his pen over the manuscript and leaving the issue to chance.

(1810 – 1849) Polish composer & virtuoso pianist
Entertainment Insults Music

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Dance Marriage Wives

Television is for appearing on – not for looking at.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Entertainment Television

The most valuable function performed by the federal government is entertainment.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Entertainment Government Situations

I don't like sex on television… I keep falling off.


Sex Television

Remember the good old days when the only bomb you had to worry about on a plane was the Rob Schneider movie?

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Arms Conflict Entertainment Film

The museum boasted owning the original version of Beethoven's unfinished basement.

comedian
Entertainment Music Places

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Entertainment Film

Last night I did a benefit for the survivors of a benefit I had done the week before. – doing benefits

(1946 – ) American comedian, actor & voice actor
Entertainment

Baptists never make love standing up; they're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing!

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Beliefs Dance Religion Sex