Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Entertainment
(Page 3)
Even when you are not playing you are holding me back.
Eugene Ormandy
(1899 – 1985) Hungarian-born conductor & violinist
Misspokements
Music
Conducting
Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses.
Elizabeth Taylor
(1932 – 2011) British-American actress
Entertainment
Film
Actors
I can’t listen to that much Wagner… I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.
Woody Allen
(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Conflict
Entertainment
Music
Places
War
Poland
Wagner
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
James Thurber
(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Characteristics
Entertainment
Opinion
Comedy
Libel
Taste
If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
Paul Beatty
(1962 – ) American author & poet
Entertainment
Places
World
Stage
Director: The one who always faces the music.
Anonymous
Definitions
Music
Director
The musician who invented Swing ought to.
The New York Times
Communication
Entertainment
Music
Criticism
Swing
There are only two styles of portrait painting; the serious and the smirk.
Charles Dickens
(1812 – 1870) English novelist
Art
Entertainment
From “Nicholas Nickleby”
Painting
Portraits
Bing Crosby sings like all people think
they
sing in the shower.
Dinah Shore
(1916 – 1994) American singer
Entertainment
Music
Bing Crosby
Gandhi
was everything the voting members of the Academy would like to be: moral, tan and thin.
Joe Morgenstern
(1932 – ) American journalist & film critic
Entertainment
Film
Of the film “Gandhi”
The best that can be said for Norwegian television is that it gives you the sensation of a coma without the worry and inconvenience
Bill Bryson
American author
Places
Television
Norway
When I die, there will be people who send flowers to Ethel Mertz.
Vivian Vance
(1902 – 1979) American actor
Acting
Entertainment
Ethel Mertz
Her “I Love Lucy” character
Piano: A parlor utensil for subduing the impertinent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions
Entertainment
Music
Things
Piano
The English may not like music, but they absolutely love the noise it makes.
Thomas Beecham
(1879 – 1961) English conductor
Entertainment
Music
People
Places
English
The mama of Dada.
Clifton Fadiman
(1904 – 1999) author, editor, radio host
Entertainment
Of Gertrude Stein
The Dada art movement
Meryl Streep is not here tonight, she has the flu… and I hear she’s amazing in it.
Amy Poehler
(1971 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Entertainment
People
At the Golden Globes Awards
Meryl Streep
Actress Claudette Colbert: I knew these lines backwards last night.Coward: And that’s just the way you’re saying them this morning.
Noel Coward
(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Acting
Communication
Entertainment
Speech
For God's sake, go and tell that young man to take that Rockingham tea service out of his tights.
Noel Coward
(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Entertainment
Insults
Coward said to the choreographer when a male dancer in one of his plays forgot to wear the proper support
Criticism
Theater
Lots of comedians have people they try to mimic… I mimic my shadow.
Steven Wright
(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Entertainment
Comedians
Mimics
I told Zollie Volchok [Sonics general manager] we needed an ultrasound machine and he asked me why we needed music in the locker room.
Lennie Wllkens
American basketball player & coach
Basketball
Entertainment
Music
Sports
The Mushroom in Christian Art
John Rush and Martin W. Ball Ph.D.
Art
Book Titles
Mushroom
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