Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Entertainment
(Page 3)
There's no thief like a bad movie.
Sam Ewing
(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Entertainment
Film
Wasted time
The worst of failure of this kind is that it spoils the market for more competent performers.
James Agate
(1877 – 1947) British diarist & critic
Acting
Reviews/Criticism
Performers
Extraordinary how potent cheap music is.
Noel Coward
(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Entertainment
Music
What do you want me to do … stop shooting now and release it as
The Five Commandments
?
Cecil B. De Mille
(1881 – 1959) American film director & producer
Entertainment
Film
After Paramount founder Adolph Zukor protested escalating costs
Keir Dullea, gone tomorrow.
Noel Coward
(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Acting
Entertainment
Reviews/Criticism
Wordplay
When asked if a handsome actor's fame would last
It’s no good pretending that any relationship has a future if your record collections disagree violently or if your favorite films wouldn’t even speak to each other if they met at a party.
Nick Hornby
(1957 – ) English novelist, essayist & screenwriter
Entertainment
Music
Relationships
From "High Fidelity"
Records
Nine times out of ten in the arts, as in life, there is actually no truth to be discovered; there is only error to be exposed.
Mencken's Second Law
Entertainment
Murphy’s Laws
Arts
A first rate soup is better than a second rate painting.
Abraham Maslow
(1908 – 1970) American professor of psychology
Art
Entertainment
Food/Drink
Paintings
Soup
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.
Truman Capote
(1924 – 1984) American author
Entertainment
Life
Reading/Writing
Third act
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
James Thurber
(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Characteristics
Entertainment
Opinion
Comedy
Libel
Taste
If she was cast as Lady Godiva the horse would steal the show.
Anonymous
Acting
Entertainment
Insults
As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.
Dick Cavett
(1936 – ) television talk show host
Entertainment
Money
People
Television
Profitable
Quality
Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Art
Definitions
Painting
You might be a redneck if… your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Entertainment
Music
People
Rednecks
Speakers
I’ve performed for twelve presidents… and entertained six.
Bob Hope
(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Entertainment
People
Self
Many are willing to suffer for their art.. few are willing to learn to draw.
Simon Munnery
(1967 – ) English comedian
Art
Entertainment
Karaoke: Japanese for “Drunk with Microphone.”
Anonymous
Definitions
Entertainment
Karaoke
Television? … The word is half Latin and half Greek; no good can come of it.
C.P. Scott
(1846 – 1932) British journalist, publisher & politician
Entertainment
Television
Man: Mr. Melon, your wife was just showing us her Klimt [an Austrian painter].Thornton Melon: You too, huh? She’s shown it to everybody.
Rodney Dangerfield
(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Art
TV/Movie Quotes
As Thornton Melon in “Back to School”
Klimt
Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies.
Bob Hope
(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Appearance
Body
Dance
People
Being a dance instructor
Rumba
When will I learn? The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV!
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Television
TV/Movie Quotes
Page 3 of 37
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