Subject: Exaggerations (Page 3)

She’s so ugly… when she entered an ugly contest the judges said, "No professionals."

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

So windy he could blow up an onion sack.

Communication Exaggerations Expressions Speech

The report of my death was an exaggeration.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Death Exaggerations

It is so hot… I saw a chicken lay a fried egg.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

It is so hot… by the time I got home from buying eggs, I had twelve chicks in the bag.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

It was so cold… politicians stopped blowing hot air.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

He is so stupid… it takes him an hour to cook Minute Rice.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

He is so fat… his high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

She is so fat… when you tell her to haul ass, she gotta make two trips.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

He is so old… he owes Jesus a quarter.

Age Exaggerations Old

He is so fat… he has group insurance.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

She is so stupid… when you said it was chilly outside she went and got a bowl.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

It was so cold… we didn't clean the house – we just defrosted it.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

Hagi could open a tin of beans with his left foot.

English football player
Colemanballs Exaggerations

She is so fat… when she sits around the house, she sits around the house.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

His nose is so big… he could smoke a cigar in the shower.

Appearance Body Exaggerations

He is so fat… when he joined Overeaters Anonymous and they make him a chapter.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

It is so hot… no shirt, no pants, no problem.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

He is so short… he poses for trophies.

Appearance Body Exaggerations

He is so stupid… he got fired from an M&M factory for throwing out all the W's.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

It is so hot… I saw a squirrel fanning his nuts.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather