Subject: Food/Drink (Page 14)

I’ve got drinks piling up on my desk and a stack of pills I have even opened yet!

(1958 – ) American actress & singer
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

They say Flintstonesvitamins are chewable; all vitamins are chewable, it's just that they taste shitty.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Eating Food/Drink

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with it's just compounding the felony.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink Fools Intelligence

I had some Chinese food the other day, and the fortune cookie was dead on about me; it said, ‘Your cholesterol just went up.’

Jewish-American stand-up comedian & writer
Food/Drink

Beer with no alcohol — what a waste; that is like a nun with a D-cup.

(1958 – ) American actress & stand-up comedian
Alcohol Beer Food/Drink

I didn’t think prohibition would last that long.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Time

My little brother had not eaten voluntarily in over three years.

(1971 – ) American actor, director & producer
Eating TV/Movie Quotes

The English contribution to world cuisine – the chip.

(1939 – ) English actor, comedian, writer & producer
England Food/Drink Places

I am not so think as you drunk I am.

(1884 – 1958) British poet, writer, historian & literary editor
Alcohol Food/Drink Wordplay

Our rabbi is so poor that if he didn’t fast every Monday and Thursday, he’d starve to death.

Eating Food/Drink Money Poverty

Bread that is sliced with an axe is bread that is too nourishing.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Food/Drink

Bring us a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until somebody passes out. And then bring one every ten minutes.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Beer Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

The speaker with the most monotonous voice speaks after the big meal.

Communication Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Speech

You're supposed to eat the cows; they're great big lumbering stupid things – they’d be everywhere if we didn’t eat them.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Animals Eating Food/Drink Life

I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Characteristics Eating Food/Drink

The English contribution to world cuisine – the chip.

(1939 – ) English actor, comedian, writer & producer
Cooking England Food/Drink Places

When a banana gets rotten people love to tell you that you can make banana bread out of it; I have never seen anyone actually do it.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host
Food/Drink

I feel like I am too old to eat jelly, but I am too young to eat prunes… I am between grapes.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host
Food/Drink

Coach: What can I do for you, Norm?

Norm: I am going to need something to kill time before my second beer. How about a first one?

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

I had one anchovy, that's why I didn't have two anchovies.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Cooking Eating Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes