Subject: Food/Drink (Page 15)

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Food/Drink

I used to work at a health food store; I got fired for drinking straight Bosco on the job.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Food/Drink Health

The Champagne they have stored is getting more valuable every year.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Alcohol Baseball Food/Drink Sports

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Food/Drink Hollywood Marriage Time

This may be the wine talking, but I really, really, really, really love wine.


Food/Drink

Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you’re thinking.

(1968 – ) American stand-up comedian
Eating Food/Drink

A woman always has half an onion left over, no matter what the size of the onion, the dish or the woman.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Food/Drink

General Mills is coming out with an organic Twinkie; isn't that called a sponge?

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Food/Drink

Woody: What’s going on Mr. Peterson?

Norm: A flashing sign in my gut that says, ‘Insert beer here.’

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

The only thing worse than a husband who never notices what you cook or what you wear is a husband who always notices what you cook and what you wear.

Appearance Cooking Food/Drink Husbands Marriage Murphy’s Laws

Leftovers: Repast history.

Definitions Food/Drink

If you're a fish, and you want to be a fish stick, you must have very good posture.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals Food/Drink

As soon as you sit down with a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something that will last until the coffee is cold.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

In fact, I think most Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.

(1963 – ) Canadian comedian, actor, screenwriter & film producer
Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

You might be a redneck if… you think a turtleneck is a key ingredient for soup.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Food/Drink People Rednecks

Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Cooking Food/Drink Self

I find that a duck’s opinion of me is heavily influenced by whether or not I have bread.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals Beliefs Food/Drink Opinion

When it comes to eating, you can sometimes help yourself more by helping yourself less.

(1906 – 1989) American poet & author
Appearance Body Eating Fat Food/Drink

A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children.

(1936 – 2014) American standup comedian, actor & author
Eating Food/Drink

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

Alcohol Food/Drink Health Life

Apple: Nutritious lunchtime dessert which children will trade for cupcakes.

Definitions Food/Drink