Subject: Food/Drink (Page 15)

I look like the wrath of grapes.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian

Yogurt: Semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other two being goulash and squid.

Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don’t drink too much… then again, don’t drink too little.

You can’t make an omelet without breaking eggs.

It was a brave person who first looked at a cow and said, ‘I think I’ll just squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out.’

(1973 – ) English comedian, writer, actor, director & producer

Beware the smile of a waiter… it means he's pissed in your soup.

(1967 – ) English comedian

All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

I’m a postmodern vegetarian… I eat meat ironically.

(1965 – ) English comedian, musician, actor & author

You never know where to look when eating a banana.

(1973 – ) English comedian, writer, actor, director & producer

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

My wife’s such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Everything is cold except what should be.

I was once so broke I forgot whether you cut steak with a knife or drank it with a spoon.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

No man is alone eating spaghetti; it requires so much attention.

(1890 – 1957) author & journalist

The closest thing I have to a nutritionist is the Carlsberg Beer Company.

(1976 – ) Irish actor

Put it back in the horse!

(1907 – 1976) American journalist & humorist

Ask not what you can do for your country; ask what’s for lunch.

(1915 – 1985) stage & film actor & director

In a family recipe that you discovered in an old book, the most vital measurement will be illegible.

She makes pancakes so thin they’ve got just one side to them.

My wife has to be the worst cook; her specialty is indigestion.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Coach: What will it be, Normie?

Norm: A transfusion with a head on it.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor