Subject: Food/Drink (Page 20)

Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos.

(1948 – ) American runner & author
Food/Drink Life

The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off; I shot the happiest 83 of my life.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Alcohol Golf Sports

They were persecuted at the turn of the century by the U.S. government – that's right: Prohibition.

comedian, television writer
Alcohol Food/Drink People

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping; men invade another country.

(1952 – ) comedian
Eating Men People Shopping War Women

Instructions: usage known.

Food/Drink Signs

I had to stop drinking, cause I got tired of waking up in my car driving 90.

(1940 – 2005) comedian & movie actor
Alcohol Food/Drink

‘Tis an ill cook that cannot lick his own fingers.

(1564 – 1616) English dramatist & poet
Food/Drink

It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks.

(1841–1919) French artist
Food/Drink Life Murphy’s Laws

Airline steaks are done when they say they are done.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Food/Drink

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education Food/Drink School

Sex is like death… only after death you don’t feel like a pizza.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Death Food/Drink Sex

I can’t die until the government finds a safe place to bury my liver.

(1904 – 1995) American comedian, jazz musician & singer
Alcohol Food/Drink Self

I distrust camels and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer
Alcohol Animals Food/Drink

Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.

Food/Drink Signs

Drunkenness does not create vice; it merely brings it into view.

(54 BC – 39 AD) Roman orator
Alcohol Food/Drink

Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Eating Food/Drink Intelligence

When it comes to Chinese food I have always operated under the policy that the less known about the preparation the better.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Food/Drink

A lot of people don't know it, but onions make me sad!

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Emotions Food/Drink

Cliff: Hey, Norm: What’s up?

Norm: My blood-alcohol level.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Beer Emotions Situations

I’m so holy that when I touch wine, it turns into water.

(1877 – 1957) 48th Imam of the Nizari Ismaili community & [founder &] president of the All-India Muslim League
Alcohol Food/Drink