Subject: Food/Drink (Page 31)

His [Ben Affleck's] ideal woman is a stripper with a Budweiser in each hand.

(1972 – ) American actress
Beer People Women

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Alcohol Food/Drink Things

I Wish Daddy Didn’t Drink So Much

Alcohol Book Titles

In Scotland the forbidden fruit is fruit.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Food/Drink Places

Scotland, the country where they fry the food five times to make sure it’s dead.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Food/Drink Places

Almost nobody dances sober, unless they happen to be insane.

(1890 – 1937) author
Activities Alcohol Dance

I certainly do not drink all the time, I have to sleep you know.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Situations Sleep

I hate reality… but nevertheless, it’s still the only place to get a good steak.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Eating Food/Drink Life

Beer with no alcohol — what a waste; that is like a nun with a D-cup.

(1958 – ) American actress & stand-up comedian
Alcohol Beer Food/Drink

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Food/Drink

An alcoholic is a person who drinks more than his own physician.

Alcohol Doctors Food/Drink Health

There definitely needs to be water on the sidelines for these players, but I also had some Gatorade just in case they were allergic to the water or vice versa.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer
Alcohol Health Misspokements Sports

It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that have to announce that I ate kale and liked it.

(1963 – ) American comedian & author
Food/Drink

I think that women just have a primeval instinct to make soup, which they will try to foist on anybody who looks like a likely candidate.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Cooking Food/Drink People Women

If you find an Australian indoors, it’s a fair bet that he will have a glass in his hand.

(1942 – ) British politician
Food/Drink People Places

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. 

Food/Drink

I admit to spending a fortune on women, booze and gambling… the rest I spend foolishly.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Alcohol Money Women

1. If you're wondering if you took the meat out to thaw, you didn't. 2. If you're wondering if you left the coffee pot plugged in, you did.

Cooking Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

Coach: What can I do for you, Norm?

Norm: I am going to need something to kill time before my second beer. How about a first one?

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains

Food/Drink Military Murphy’s Laws

My DNA is cheeseburgers.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Eating Food/Drink Sports