Subject: Food/Drink (Page 31)

Cheese – milk's leap toward immortality.

(1904 – 1999) author, editor, radio host
Food/Drink Time

If I was on death row and given one last meal I would ask for a fortune cookie; “Come on ‘long prosperous life!’”

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Death Food/Drink

There are two things that will be believed of any man whatsoever, and one of them is that he has taken to drink.

(1869 – 1946) American novelist & dramatist
Alcohol Beliefs Food/Drink Opinion

A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts.

Alcohol Ideas Murphy’s Laws

The one ingredient you made a special trip to the store to get will be the one thing your guest is allergic to.

Cooking Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Food/Drink

Marge, I’m going to miss you so much; and it’s not just the sex; it’s also the food preparation.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink

How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil's Brew; I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon… and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

I used to be a bartender at the Betty Ford Clinic.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

Don’t you think the road commissioner would be willing to pay my wife something for her recipe for pie crust?

(1872 – 1933) 30th U.S. president
Cooking Food/Drink

The hardness of the butter is in direct proportion to the softness of the roll.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

Spaghetti… I can't eat spaghetti, there's too many of them. No matter how hungry I am, 1000 of something is too many.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Food/Drink

We thought it was a bad idea you guys got married, but we didn’t feel like we could say anything because it was open bar.

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian
Alcohol Friends Marriage Old People

Farkerhouse rolls.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Food/Drink Malaprops

I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Eating Food/Drink

Woody: What’s going on, Mr. Peterson?

Another layer for the winter, Woody.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

Tommy (Lasorda) will eat anything, as long as you pay for it.

American baseball player, manager & executive
Baseball Eating Food/Drink Sports

Abstainer: The kind of man you wouldn’t want to drink with even if he did.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor
Alcohol Food/Drink People

Hors d'oeuvres: A sandwich cut into 20 pieces.

Definitions Food/Drink