Subject: Government » Lawyers (Page 2)

I'm not an ambulance chaser; I'm usually there before the ambulance.

(1907 – 1996) American attorney
Government Law Lawyers

A lawyer starts life giving $500 worth of law for $5 and ends giving $5 worth for $500.

(1816 – 1888) American attorney, politician & United States Attorney General
Government Lawyers

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings… and lawyers.

(1940 – 2005) comedian & movie actor
Emotions Government Law Lawyers Marriage

Lawyer: A fellow who is willing to go out and spend your last cent to prove he’s right.

Definitions Lawyers

Criminal lawyer is a redundancy.

Government Law Lawyers

What's black and white and brown and looks good on a lawyer? … a Doberman.

(1931 – 2001) Canadian author, screenwriter & essayist
Animals Dogs Insults Lawyers

After last week’s preliminary hearing Saddam Hussein was asked if he needed anything while in custody; “Yes,” he said, “Michael Jackson’s lawyer.”

(1972 – ) Irish comedian & television presenter
Government Lawyers

1. Always hire a rich solicitor.

2. Never buy from a rich salesman.

Lawyers Money Murphy’s Laws Wealth

If law school is so hard to get through… how come there are so many lawyers?

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Education Government Law Lawyers School

I think that after the third marriage Georgie tried to claim his divorce attorney as a dependent.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Divorce Government Lawyers Marriage Taxes

Jury: A body of twelve men selected to decide which of the contestants has the better lawyer.

Definitions Government Law Lawyers

Lawyer: A professional advocate hired to bend the law on behalf of a paying client; for this reason considered the most suitable background for entry into politics.

Definitions Lawyers

I have knowingly defended a number of guilty men, but the guilty never escape unscathed; my fees are sufficient punishment for anyone.

(1933 – ) American attorney
Lawyers Miscellaneous

Doctors, dentists, and lawyers are only on time for appointments when you’re not.

Doctors Lawyers Murphy’s Laws

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns.

(1921 – 1999) American writer (The Godfather)
Conflict Crime Lawyers

Lawsuit: A contest generally won by the party that can afford to reimburse the lawyers on both sides of the dispute.

Definitions Law Lawyers

Karen, I am a lawyer, which means, unlike you, I actually passed a bar.

(1963 – ) Canadian-American actor
Lawyers TV/Movie Quotes

Infinity is one lawyer waiting for another.

Government Law Lawyers Murphy’s Laws Time

If you want to get ahead in this world get a lawyer – not a book.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Lawyers Life

We shouldn’t have to be burdened with all the technicalities that come up from time to time with shrewd, smart lawyers interpreting what the laws or what the Constitution may or may not say.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Government Law Lawyers Misspokements

All lawyers are cut from the same cloth: fleece.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Crime Government Law Lawyers