Subject: Government (Page 19)

Tea Bags are for D-Bags

Politics

Having your lawyer pay for lunch will be very expensive in the end.

Lawyers Money

If he slices the budget like he slices a (golf) ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Government People Sports

The question about those aromatic advertisements that perfume companies are having stitched into magazines these days is this: under the freedoms guaranteed by the First Amendment, is smelling up the place a constitutionally protected form of expression?

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Government

I have knowingly defended a number of guilty men, but the guilty never escape unscathed; my fees are sufficient punishment for anyone.

(1933 – ) American attorney
Lawyers Miscellaneous

[When parachuting] it is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.

Military Murphy’s Laws

Communism: Liberation of the people from the burdens of liberty.

Definitions Government

The less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics Government Politicians

Dictatorship: A system of government where everything that isn’t forbidden is obligatory.

Definitions Government

Governments tend not to solve problems, only to rearrange them.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Government Problems

Court Of Law: A place where a suit is pressed and a man maybe taken to the cleaners.

Definitions Law

Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions; conservatives feel they deserve everything they’ve stolen.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Beliefs Government Politics

The Middle East is obviously an issue that has plagued the region for centuries.

(1961 – ) 44th U.S. president
Government Misspokements

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Democracy Government Politics

Dan Quayle deserves to be Vice President like Elvis deserved his black belt in karate.

(1953 – ) comedian, political commentator and television & radio personality
Government Insults President

The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then gets elected and proves it.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Government Politicians

The enemy never watches until you make a mistake.

Military

This is not the first time that Europe has been passive while a Jew-hating tyrant with a weird looking mustache killed the people by giving them gas… obviously I'm talking about Chef Boyardee.

(1970 – ) American comedian, writer & actress
Government People

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Age Government People

The more qualified candidates who are available, the more likely the compromise will be on the candidate whose main qualification is a non-threatening incompetence.

Elections/Voting Government Murphy’s Laws

Field experience is something you never get until just after you need it.

Military Murphy’s Laws